The Green Pill Podcast: Sprinkle Sprinkle, Drizzle Drizzle

Two weeks ago, we spoke about the problems with Grand Gestures, but we hinted there was more to this story and now we’re able to share with you the root cause of why some folks are expecting nothing less than some grand gesture on a first date.

This goes back to a recent movement you can find, especially, on TikTok. What it comes down to is, if you can’t give her that princess treatment on date 1, can’t be paying her rent and her bills and her car insurance as well as her daily meals, so long brother, she’ll find someone who will.

Of course, many men are aware of this movement and have come up with a large number of parodies. Again, you need look no farther than TikTok to find numerous bros talking about not settling for women who won’t pay their keep and shower them with gifts. For the most part, all these men are just making parody videos to counterpoint the women with their TikTok sprinkle sprinklings. And, let’s be honest, some women on TikTok are doing it ironically too because, on the surface, it is kind of funny!

But, the thing is, it does happen in real life. There are women’s magazines talking about how women deserve no less than the Taylor Swift treatment by her boo Travis Kelce. Ladies who expect those Grand Gestures to show you’re worthy. And, while they are perfectly entitled to want that, you’re perfectly entitled to not tolerate someone who acts entitled to it. It makes him no better than a Success Object.

And, if that term sounds familiar, well, it is, because it’s the flip side of treating women as nothing more than Sex Objects. My sista, I know you don’t want to be reduced to a one-dimensional sex-object. So please, let’s not flatten men to just a single Success Object status.

[NSFW] The Green Pill Podcast: Sex Talk 1

We begin the summer series with our most titillation episode yet. Here, we remove all boundaries and be honest about our advice about sex. First off, I think it’s important to know that Sex isn’t everything, and there is no shame in being ACE and skipping this one. However, for those who aren’t, intimate physical relations is what this episode is all about, getting down and dirty with the idea of what couples do behind closed doors.

We danced around this topic in our Enthusiastic Consent episode but here we can go into more detail about what we were talking about. For instance, in my numerous experiences with women, I’ve found that cunnilingus is something that many of those folks wanted very badly, but many others have found utterly disgusting. Personally, I enjoy giving this intimate pleasure to my significant other but I would never do it with a partner who didn’t want it. And I can understand why she might not like it. After all, for those who are bothered by the idea, she may feel that that area is one she may be trying to ignore, concerning herself only about making sure it’s clean and she isn’t on her cycle. The last thing these women would want is for you to go down there and see it close up.

What’s more, many lovers are givers and for them taking the pleasure without a way of giving it is a little off putting. I, for one, totally understand this. After all, the I generally feel the same way with my partners. I want to give to her, so getting a blow job (i.e. Fallatio), for me, is a little off-putting because I don’t like to receive pleasure without giving it. And I’m a definite no on Anal. That’s a one-way street for me, especially as there already is another even better orifice a few centimeters up!

And that our point. Some men love Anal or Fallatio and some don’t like it. Some women like cunnalingus and some hate it. You know what the most important thing is, though? Communication. Folks, there’s nothing wrong with wanting something, and there’s nothing wrong with not wanting something. What is problematic is if you don’t tell your partner. You need to feel open enough to tell your partner what you want and feel safe enough that you can tell your partner what you don’t.

And as doing a favor for your partner, and engaging in that thing you don’t really like because your partner does, every once in a while, that’s okay too! And that’s our Sex Talk 1. Until next time!

Be safe my friends and happy Summer!

The Green Pill Podcast: Age-Gap Relationships

This week, we’re talking about Age Gap relationships, with our guest Alex. Alex is my co-host Cat‘s long-term partner and we were fortunate enough to get his views with respect to their age-gap relationship, one quite similar to mine. Personally, I’m quite proud of my quarter century relationship with my former partner—who is nearly a decade-and-a-half my senior—and regret none of it, still considering her one of my closest friends.

Age gaps in relationships are nothing new. Often times the half-plus-seven rule is a useful benchmark for what constitutes a positive relationship. For instance, if you’re 22 and considering someone younger, 22 ÷ 2 + 7 = 18. On the other hand, if you’re looking for someone older, this would give (22 – 7) × 2 = 30. Of course, these are just rough numbers but as you get older, the gap widens, growing slower in the minimum and faster in the maximum, so that at 52 you have a minimum of 33 and a maximum of 90!

One other thing it’s worth mentioning is the general sexual curve between men and women has women peaking in their early 30s and men peaking in their late teens. Thus, an age gap of 30-year-old woman with 18-year-old man isn’t just good, it can be a great learning experience for him, and a great appetite satisfying experience for her. But, these are just average numbers, and everyone’s life experience is different so your mileage may vary.

But, for the record, I recognize it isn’t hard as a 20-something man to get a date. I know rejection after rejection after rejection making you desperate and easily making mistakes. I know this will wound you, as it has wounded me, making it harder for me to trust, and harder to notice the signs, positive or negative. Despite it, I am coping with therapy and I must recommend. My young men followers, please know it’s not hopeless, and there are young women out there. You just have to be patient and keep an opened mind like I did, because an older woman may be just your perfect match.

All that said, we’re not here to tell you if you’re outside that half-plus-seven range that you’re doing something wrong. Clearly, if you are with someone younger than 18, who is not yet the age of majority and therefore not clearly able to give consent, never mind enthusiastically, then please consider choosing someone else. But, if you’re both old enough to give consent and not under guardianship, then go knock yourself out! No shame in being in love, and as long as you love responsibility, you’re okay.

The Green Pill Podcast: Enthusiastic Consent

Throughout my long marriage, one of my biggest issues was feeling unwanted. This is of course strange because I know she wanted me as her husband but the way she showed me that desire was via control and restrictions, not through acts of physical intimacy, which is how many see the pinnacle of romantic appreciation. My point is, I kept waiting for some sign of eagerness, not just simple consent. And when I didn’t see that excitement I just couldn’t see myself getting into it enough to be physically arroused.

For the longest time, I felt this way but never could put it into words. Then I read Dr. Emily Nagoski‘s Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. That’s where I learned the terms Enthusiastic Consent and Sexual Concordance. Enthusiastic Consent is a perfect life’s mantra in almost every situation, and Sexual Concordance is typified by the body being aligned with the mind. By contrast, one example of discord is a woman being intimately moist but not interested in physical intimacy, mentally. In this case, there will be no enthusiasm, nor any consent, and so that external manifestation is most emphatically not an invitation. Dr. Nagoski doesn’t talk much about male Sexual Concordance in that book but for men, clearly discord is something which happens, be it for young men, who engorge despite the situation not calling for it, or older men, who are really happy to be there, but are unable to stiffen.

While we skirt around the specifics of intimate enthusiastic consent in this episode, in an upcoming episode, Sex Talk 1, we will go into more detail. In the meantime, please enjoy my friend Cat hosting this wonderfully informative discussion.

A tail of Toastmasters in Three thrilling fails

I have slowly been churning through my Persuasive Influencer program with Loudoun Toastmasters. As a toastmaster, I feel I have improved my organization and ability to speak while crafting an engaging yarn. That said, we can all learn from our foibles and in this case my last three speeches did indeed have their kinks and chances to grow from.

Electric Car Advocacy — 2023-10-05

I gave this speech as a companion to my livestream with Fairfax County, on Car Tax Payment Day, which you can watch here. I gave this speech only minutes after the presentation and as an advocacy speech to towards my Level 3 proficiency. The problem was, even though I was home and at my own computer, I didn’t have time to set up the presentation correctly and had to rush through some slides because I ran out of my 5–7 allotted time. What’s more, I didn’t set the zoom share properly so my Presentation was showing presenter view to the audience, not the presentation itself.

What I learned was that I needed to take more time to prepare my materials and make sure they were ready and that I wasn’t so hasty to set up my display. Needless to say, this was a pretty poorly performing speech that day.

Film the Eclipse with an iPhone — 2024-03-24

I first gave this at the Westminster Astronomical Society March meeting, on Wednesday, 13 March. That speech went great because I brought my own computer and it played the videos over zoom perfectly. I had it on a table in front of the audience and it was projected on the screen as well. It was a smashing success right after the main presentation. I was looking forward to giving the same speech in Toastmasters to finish out my Level 3.

Eleven days later, I addressed my toastmasters with the same speech. However, the embedded videos didn’t play when the zoom host brought up those slides. I was mortified. This time, the slide deck was shared correctly but the video content just wouldn’t play. As such, I failed again, learning that embedded content is hard to manage so keep my presentations simpler. But, what was worst of all was that the timer flashed a card at me, making me thing I was running out of time, so I rushed through to the end only to find out that I was just one second shy of 5 minutes as he flashed the green card at me. I learned then and there to not trust the timer and make sure I kept my own time.

Of course, this was just before my eclipse trip to Austin, so I was also worried about packing and getting ready for that.

The Green Pill Podcast — 2024-05-02

This speech was near and dear to me. When I saw the Create a Podcast project for the Level 4 elective speeches, I knew it was a perfect fit. I had been working on my episodes, with the last of the Spring series and first of the Summer in the can and waiting for release on YouTube, I already had 60 minutes of footage from the first 6 episodes publicly released on the platform, enough to qualify to give the corresponding speech.

Part of the speech requirements is to share a clip of your podcast. I decided rather than taking one of the existing episodes, I’d give a preview of the first Summer episode I’d just finished editing. In summer, I’m hoping to go to a more 2-camera like approach with editing for the episodes. You’ll see what I mean on 20 June, at the Solstice. In any case, I selected a clip from that episode where I reiterate some issues from our upcoming Enthusiastic Consent episode. I sent the video clip to the zoom host and reduced my speech by a minute to allow time for the clip. I also made sure to put my phone on the podium to time myself and make sure I transitioned to the clip with enough time to spare.

Unfortunately, the zoom host didn’t prepare for my clip. He thought he was supposed to play something from the existing YouTube content, but I edited a short, low-sized clip specifically for this episode. I wanted him to play that. It took nearly 2 minutes for him to load up the clip and in the end he never even shared it with Zoom properly. Another failure and poor performance on my part as I shouldn’t trust others to do what needs to be done. I should have brought my own computer and had it play the clip to Zoom.

Conclusion

When it comes to crafting a great speech, you can leave nothing to chance, friends. Watch for your contingencies and leave nothing to chance. Then maybe you can get that best speech ribbon.