Welcome everyone to a new episode of the Green Pill Secret, coming to you from Reston, VA… or is it Neist Point on the Isle of Skye? I visited Skye in 2018 and this is one of my photos from that lovely trip with my ex-wife, the last trip we ever took—because of the pandemic.
Of course, I did say ex-wife, not because her name started with the letter X, but because after 25 years I knew I was being stifled and had to escape. After years of being threatened with divorce at the smallest disagreement, and other negative signs, I decided that this wasn’t the best course for me and ended up giving her what she wanted in anger despite revoking in peace.
However, I always say it’s best to be a gentleman, and to be a good gentleman it’s best to divorce not with vindictiveness, but with kindness and doing what I could to make sure she would end up on her own two feet.
I’ve done the same when I break up with a woman I’m dating. One time, I drove to Dover, Delaware to deliver my sad news in person. I’m happy to say we remain friends to this day. Another time, I met her at her home to deliver my news, and she hemmed and hawed to try and change my mind, but in the end she conceded my desire to just be friends—unfortunately, she blocked me during Passover, but unblocked me when it was over and we’re now friends.
On the other hand, there was the Lawyer who broke up with me after 2 dates, and we remain friends. And the opera singer who I dated twice, then became distracted by a number of things, then reconnected, but she also decided she was just interested in friendship and I was happy with that. I also didn’t mention the Geologist I dated that one time who we kind of just drifted apart but still remain amicable. And the Irish woman, even if she was ENM, after she ghosted me—and that really hurt me—when she came back into my life, all I ever wanted was friendship.
But then there’s the one who attends my church and told me I was too old. I really loved her and seriesly considered proposing to her. But, if I’m too old, I’m just too old and I have to move on. I’m glad we’re still friends—but I miss her hugs! But I still love Pastor Ray‘s sermons.
Anyway, my best advice when you break up is just be kind and empathetic, but firm in your convictions. Never show maliciousness, and even if you can’t be friends right away, consider that someday that may still be a possibility. Just don’t go walking off some cliff, thinking your life is over—another love is just around the corner.