If you’re thinking that person you fancy will finally notice you by going to their window and serenading your live like Cyrano de Bergerac, don’t be surprised if you spend the night in the local jail.
This week we’re talking about Grand Gestures. If you learned all your did about romance from the movies of the 1980s by John Hughes, you’ve been led astray. Your perceptions of what constitutes a proper romance should not come from the sped-up narrative of the film narrative. Granted, The Princess Bride constitutes one of the most romantic descriptions of love and dedication, but the epic journeys of Westley and Buttercup work in literature because there are many trials and tribulations which both protagonists go through and the audience is aching for their reunion, with the process being the real narrative. But, life isn’t a movie!
In the real world, people have lives and aren’t being kidnapped by Dread Pirates Robert and getting advice from Miracle Max. In the real world, it takes time to build a relationship. You need to begin slowly; you can’t run before you can walk. It goes back to our advice on Icebreakers. Nothing works better than a simple “Hello”.
Of course, we’re not saying a trip to Paris six-months into a long-term relationship is unwarranted. By all means, if you have and established relationship, please keep having grand adventures together. But, if you’re expecting to be taking on an all-expense paid trip to Austin , TX for the last Solar Eclipse in the United States (outside of the Alaskan North) for the next two decades as a first date, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. Not saying there won’t be guys who will shell out for that, but who knows what he would be expecting in return, and why risk that. Best for everyone to slow things down, and except that good things come to those who wait.
And definitely don’t go making those grand gestures expecting anything but a legal smackdown. You want them to notice you, just walk up and introduce yourself!