If you’re thinking that person you fancy will finally notice you by going to their window and serenading your live like Cyrano de Bergerac, don’t be surprised if you spend the night in the local jail.
This week we’re talking about Grand Gestures. If you learned all your did about romance from the movies of the 1980s by John Hughes, you’ve been led astray. Your perceptions of what constitutes a proper romance should not come from the sped-up narrative of the film narrative. Granted, The Princess Bride constitutes one of the most romantic descriptions of love and dedication, but the epic journeys of Westley and Buttercup work in literature because there are many trials and tribulations which both protagonists go through and the audience is aching for their reunion, with the process being the real narrative. But, life isn’t a movie!
In the real world, people have lives and aren’t being kidnapped by Dread Pirates Robert and getting advice from Miracle Max. In the real world, it takes time to build a relationship. You need to begin slowly; you can’t run before you can walk. It goes back to our advice on Icebreakers. Nothing works better than a simple “Hello”.
Of course, we’re not saying a trip to Paris six-months into a long-term relationship is unwarranted. By all means, if you have and established relationship, please keep having grand adventures together. But, if you’re expecting to be taking on an all-expense paid trip to Austin , TX for the last Solar Eclipse in the United States (outside of the Alaskan North) for the next two decades as a first date, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. Not saying there won’t be guys who will shell out for that, but who knows what he would be expecting in return, and why risk that. Best for everyone to slow things down, and except that good things come to those who wait.
And definitely don’t go making those grand gestures expecting anything but a legal smackdown. You want them to notice you, just walk up and introduce yourself!
You’re missing all the women’s magazines teaching the opposite stuff that many self-serving women buy into. see the same nonsense enough to belive there is a utube vid trending. I myself want to do grand gestures if i think the woman is really worth it, but it’s as much for future memories as a statement of worth and i don’t carry expectations with it. But building, ya.
While I agree that it’s a good idea to wow a woman on an early date to show her you mean business and have LTR potential, the problem is when she expects 100% every single date while passively giving 0%. It’s no better than a man looking at a woman only as a means to sex, treating her as a sex object. Women can show enthusiasm but if they act entitled then they’re just seeing you as a success object. If they’re more interested in your money than yourself, run away!
We have more to say though, so stay tuned!
first yes. the gesture is about meaning. So a first date not subsequent except as desired, say an anniversary, which might not b the same kind, not grand. and when that meaning exist. Nor should they ever be requirements. and it should b mutual, the receiver recognizing as such. Beyond that relationships should be about a relationship. a Partnerships, each bringing w/e their part is, however they define it. If i have some to really think some1 is special i want to give them something to show if. Which btw usually takes a lot of time to see, other than that coffee is fine. And if a grand gesture is a requirement for the date, she’s not the kind of woman i want.
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