My boss doesn’t understand how hard it is to text when you’re stuck in traffic. That’s why he wants to fire me. That’s why I’m looking for a new job. And I will continue to consider a better offer and say goodbye to just under 18 years of Federal Service, but I think I’ve come up with a better way!

The thing is, if I’m running late because I’m stuck in traffic—or in a car with a lackadaisical Uber driver who won’t listen when I tell him I need to get to work on time—I might just have a solution. I could build an iOS app to text my boss for me!

I’m not actually sure I can do this. My app would have to always be running or at least be run at certain times when I would be expected to text. The idea would be, it would trigger at a fixed interval before the time I’m supposed to be at an Event, and if I’m not, say, within 100 m of that location, automatically send a text saying I was stuck in traffic and running late.

Phase one will be to build the app framework. Once that’s done, I want to see if I can have my app generate a text in the first place. I wouldn’t be surprised if iOS disallows that, so that’s why I want to determine that first.

Phase two will involve me setting a timer and providing a notification when the timer dings warning that, if the notification isn’t dismissed, the text will be sent.

Phase three will involve getting the GPS location of the phone and comparing it to the location of the Event to see if the phone is within 100 m, and if so, it will disable the text. I will then add a grace period where you must send the message by. For instance, if you’re due at the Event at 10:00, and you set the grace period to 15 minutes, the text goes out at 09:45, well before the Event is scheduled to begin.

Phase four will read your calendar to automatically generate alarms and warning texts. This will be filterable so that only events you choose will send out the text warnings. Each event will have to have a text number associated with it, but that shouldn’t be too hard if I also give the App access to the owner’s Contact List where you can select one or more numbers from.

I hope to have all that code complete, tested, and submitted to the App store by 1 July. I don’t know if I’ll have the time—or even if the texting is possible—but the beauty of this App is it’s extremely multi-functional. It doesn’t just need to be about getting to work, it can be for any appointment where you’re likely to be stuck in traffic or otherwise would have difficulty generating a text in a timely fashion.

I know for my part, when the world is collapsing on me and someone commits grand larceny against me or I get a $2,000 tyre repair bill for a slow leak, and thus am frazzled and having trouble remembering my name never mind to text when I’m running late, I won’t get fired because I arrive at 10:05. And that’s a very good thing!

Feel free to track my progress and remember, though job offers keep coming in, I remain available for hire!