Tutor: Science / Math / Software Engineering

Folks, as I’ve from time to time mentioned, I’m currently unemployed and as such, although I’m using the time to improve my literary portfolio, with hopefully at least 2 books to be released this year, I’m also considering earning some cash as the money runs out. For instance, since I run a science book club, am a mathematician, and a software engineer with decades of experience, I wanted to offer my skills to anyone needing a tutor. I am cleared and trusted by the government and I want to assure all of you that I am someone worthy of trust and respect and have unique skills, and knowledge and am an excellent presenter, having been a toastmaster. I’m also looking to be a teacher’s aid, or lunch monitor, or a substitute teacher, should these opportunities become available. I’m quite flexible in terms of remuneration as well. I have even lowered my asking salary for software engineering positions by 20%, and I’m happy to provide discounts for those who are financially struggling.
I’m happy to help those in need, so feel free to pick my brain and let me share some of my years of knowledge with someone who’s struggling.

Green Pill Secret: Romance Scams

The thing about life is, sometimes it gives you lemons and you’re allergic to lemonade. For instance, although the date on this post is the right date, I am only able to write it 48 hours later, which allows me to tell you not just about the frightful topic but also why my telling you about it has been so hard.

First and foremost as viewers of the podcast will know, my dear friend and co-host Cat will be going under the knife to hopefully resolve their neck issues this Thursday and I for one am concerned for my friend and their overall recovery. However, I am confident that they will at some point be returning to the show but most of all I am hopeful for my friend’s swift recovery.

That said, I wasn’t able to secure an alternate co-host for my Romance Scams discussion. I had a wonderful discussion with one of my neighbors who talked a lot about fake male profiles, typically in their twenties, and in uniform, running the typical romance scam. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to schedule a time when she could appear so I did this one, and likely the next one and the last December episode solo. But, I do have something special planned for the Winter Solstice!

Meanwhile, on the job front, my next employment seems to be further delayed and I might not be working until after Christmas. As usual, I refuse to look at as a setback but rather I see it as a wonderful Christmas gift as I head into 2025.

I’ve also been flying recently but my instruction has been forestalled because my fundamentals are still quite rusty. So, while I’m still unemployed, I’m focusing my day-to-day work in studying the PHAK and AFH. I found a great channel on YouTube by Philip J Murphy. The recitations are a little dry, but I find the contents quite educational. I personally think my instructor is a little annoyed with me being so rusty, so I hope the next time I’m able to schedule a flight, I’m able to show great progress. Hopefully, I’ll finish before my FAA license expires on 31 December. I have submitted an extension to the FAA, but I don’t expect the new license to be issued before mid February.

But, the big thing I am most thankful for is that I’ve reconnected with my brother. For the last year, my brother has eschewed my contact, and ghosted me because he went off his meds. His Breton, now ex-wife reached out when he was at his darkest and fortunately we were all able to convince him to get the help he needed, since he filed a medical directive to prevent anyone from helping him save himself.

Now, he has the right meds, is stable with his work, and able to live in his now empty house. He reached out just after Thanksgiving and we made hummus together thanks to his home-made recipe. It was delicious. After we ate and caught up, he made me a custom batch with extra garlic. Yum!

Suffice it to say, I’ve been busy. But, I was able to record an episode in time, right before my semi-annual toastmasters training. I missed the last day of the Reston Farmers’ Market Market and my weekly workout but I had the episode recorded and submitted to YouTube with an hour to spare, at 07:30 on Wednesday. Finally, I clicked to schedule it, and set the schedule for 08:30, which is the time we normally would have released this episode. Only, I got the day wrong as it was supposed to be 7 December, not 8 December! D’oh!

So, I submitted the episode, went to the Toastmasters training, met a beautiful friend from the last Toastmasters social event I was at, hurt my arm, and then rushed home.

Unfortunately, there was no time to check on the episode because my poorly-fitting Airpods fell in my iced tea while I was smiling and eating during my Maryland Science Book Club meeting last Wednesday.

When I went to the apple store to complain, they said just buy a new set of headphones. I tried on a different set but let me just say apple earphones are the worst designed earphones ever built! Sure, the ATMOS sound is cool, but what good is an earphone if it can’t even stay in your ear when you have the temerity to even smile! I mean, isn’t apple just making their 1984 Commercial a reality? Apple is making you constantly frown while you listen to their airpods while a real, professional earphone maker, like Shure, is in skimpy shorts and tossing something and Tim Cook droning on and on and preventing you from even smiling. Touché, apple. I see you!

The point being, my new earphones were scheduled for arrival on Saturday and I spend the time after the training working with the concierge for the missing package to no avail. Since my Denon AV Receiver broke after a power cut just before Thanksgiving and I knew I could replace it with a Black Friday discount. The unit arrived and I lugged it all the way up the 16 flights of stairs because I need to be fitter if I want to attract women. However, I wanted to test the audio out of the old receiver to confirm it was the receiver and not the speakers. Since the Shure earphones are optionally wired, I was able to confirm the receiver was dead and I bought a label maker to perform the rewiring.

I will say the climbing of 16 flight, or 40 flight if I move to the apartment across the street, even if they made the most awesome flat a three-bedroom well outside of my budget. I still need to figure out if I want West-only or South-East exposure and my dilly-dallying is my way of saying I’m willing to forsake either while I consider my job situation.

Okay, I seem to have lost my train of thought again. Maybe I’ll talk more about how I have two red flags against me because I’m bald and not six-foot tall. Meaning, women already have a lot of good reasons to reject me and why I’m mainly attracting scammers and lower quality women. I’ll leave it at that, as I want to talk about Hypergamy in a different episode.

Anyway, I was unable to get the earphones after the training, and then I had a Tesla Light Show event with the Maryland Tesla owners. We got 190 cars for our part of the display in the Christmas lightshow. I have video from both up close and on a hill, though on the hill the audio is somewhat messed up because people were talking near the camera.

After that, I had a special neighbor party organized by an absolutely gorgeous women who is a good friend but is very much not in any way, shape, or from attracted to me and is utterly disgusted by the prospect. Did I mention Hypergamy?

Thus, I wasn’t able to confirm the video uploaded all day Saturday, and had some things to take care of on Sunday so I wasn’t able to see until last night that it was posted and it wasn’t until now that I could write this long updating post to you. If you read this far, I thank you. Now, go enjoy the episode where I talk all about how I, personally, was scammed.

The Green Pill Secret: Serving Your Country

This week I wanted to pay my respects to our nation’s military as on Monday it will be Veterans’ Day. That’s why this episode it about Serving Your Country, especially in uniform. Having worked for the Naval Research Laboratory for almost 2 decades and that was some of the greatest work I’ve ever done. I was and am very proud of how I worked to keep our men and women in uniform safe.

My work there was lifechanging. Until I worked with those uniformed men and women, I didn’t have a good graps for what our nation’s military does. I didn’t see them, I only saw how politicians used and abused them. And, I didn’t realize that our armed forces are the best way out of poverty. Or that women in uniform protected under state-wide Equal Rights,give ip those rights when they’re shipped abroad and only under the protection of the U.S. Constitution.

So, thank you all for your service and Happy Veterans’ Day

The Green Pill Secret: Introversion

Continuing on from our series autumn episodes, this week we’re discussing introversion, extroversion, and extroverted introversion. What is an Extroverted Introvert? If you like parties with friend that you know, but still need to recharge, you might be an extroverted introvert. If you love talking to perfect strangers and schmoozing, and your only feeling when it’s over is that it’s over, you’re kind of an extrovert. And if you like to just netflix and chill, maybe introvert is more your style.

Is Introversion better? Of course not! we need all types to have a successful society. Someone needs to make the sales, after all, after someone else writes the software. It all goes hand in hand.

As for neglect, well, there are many forms of that. Being a child with your needs ignored, or being a wife who’s husband neglects her. Neglect is difficult and debilitating and it’s not what an Introvert wants. Introverts still want friends and to hang out with them, just as extroverts do.

So, whether your an introvert, or an extrovert, or something in the middle, we hope this episode will help you understand all about us. Until next week…

The Green Pill Secret: Your Inner Critic

As some of you may know, I have been going to therapy on-and-off for a number of years. The main reason for this because, like many young men of today, I left college with nothing, and couldn’t get a date to save my life. When I finally did find someone who would date me, I clung on as if my life depended on it. In hindsight I know this was unhealthy, but I also recognize as a neglected child and baby, according to my parents, that it’s no wonder I have abandonment issues and historically had a Anxious Attachment style. Of course, naturally I was most attracted to rejecting women who recapitulated my childhood neglect and finally married someone with an Avoidant Attachment style. Therapy has helped me get through this, and helped me stop hating myself and helped me become someone who is more secure in his attachment.

Now, I’m hoping to do into more depth on Attachment Styles in a subsequent episode, as well as therapy, but this week, my wonderful friend Cat returns for the first of 6 topics of discussion. This week, it’s all about that Inner Critic. That inner critic who makes me think no woman will ever find me attractive because of all my recent and historical romantic failures. That inner critic who makes me think I’m not a real cosplayer because I don’t make my own outfits. That inner critic who says I’m an awful composer. That inner critic who says I’m never going to be a pilot after two and a half decades of trying. That inner critic who tells me I can’t deliver a good speech. Celle critique de la interior que dit que je ne parle pas français, oder Deutsch, o italiano, или русский, 日本語または 中文. That inner critic who says I’m a failed Physicist because McGill didn’t even give me credit for the 3 years I studied the discipline. That inner critic who reminds me I’m a software engineer without a job. And that goddamn inner critic that reminds me I’m not a successful author because I’ve only had a few of my short stories published and I’ll never be as successful as Stephen King, or even Nev Fountain or Martin Wilsey.

Now, should you always ignore your inner critic because it’s shit-talking you? By all means, no! The critic is there to keep you from embarrassment. But sometimes, when you’re constantly rejected romantically, and having trouble finding the time to finish the first draft of your novel, and realizing how long it’s been and you still don’t have a pilot’s licence, or your sewing machine sits idle, don’t sweat it. Because I may not be the best, but have been on some successful dates, I do cosplay, I do write music, I am licensed to fly, I ran a great Toastmasters last Thursday, I practice my linguistic skills when I travel, I run a science book club and have read over 100 science books, I’m a very skilled coder with sufficient clearances which make me expect I will have a new job soon, and I have my own Amazon page if you want to read some of my work. And I fight for the Equal Rights Amendment, for a National Popular Vote, and Electric Car access, especially for National Drive Electric Week!

And this channel, well, I hope it will grow too. I don’t mind only 10 subscribers oas of this writing. I’m happy that two of my shorts got over 150 views. So don’t let that Innere Critic Rule you, making you fall into self-sabotaging behaviors. Control your Inner Critic, and just don’t let it control you!

My TeeVee Died

As if the stressed of my intense week back from Austin, with clambering for sleep being bad enough, I came home after a second 11+ hour day at work to the canary screen of death!

Needless to say, I’m distraught. I’m still reimbursing my savings from my trip to Austin and still trying to pay myself back for my MacBook Pro, which I used to edit the Green Pill Podcast, and a new iPhone and iPad, which I used to film the eclipse. And 2024 was the year I was finally going to replace my stolen Shure SE846 earphones.

Not to mention, I’m looking to move to the more expensive apartment down the street in the next 4–14 months. The sooner the move the better after my current apartment overcharged me $100 for two parking spaces when I only have 1 car! Not to mention the $80 I just paid to be told by the repairman he couldn’t fix id.

But, most tragic for me is that I won’t be able to watch the new series of Doctor Who on my television set. I’ll be restricted to my wide-monitor and the Disney+ app. I had to watch Doctor Who: The Savages, Part 3 on DailyMotion last night on my computer.

Folks, I’m just, still exhausted from another marathon day at work and I still haven’t had time to write my speech for tomorrow’s ToastMasters meeting and now I’m running late for me EVA/DC Board Meeting. So, without a television to lay eyes upon, toodloo!

To Sleep, perchance to dream

Last year, I read the book Outlive by Peter Attia, MD in my Science Book Club, and although it is cliché, this book did indeed change my life. The TLDR is simply this: to live a healthy you need four pillars of living today to be ready for tomorrow: improved strength, good balance, cardiovascular improvements, and sleep! I have 10 lb / 4.5 kg weights I need to start pumping one of these days for strength. I need to do more yoga, like Saturdays at 11:00 in my apartment, but alas that’s during my Saturday Morning Review. But, for cardio, I climb all 15 flights every time I leave my apartment, typically at lease once a day, and have made a rule to never take the elevator up when I can find the staircase (though I do take it down).

As for sleep, I am epicly failing and it’s really getting to me. But, to fully lay this story out, let’s go back to March of 2024.

Eclipse Planning

I had been planning for the 2024 eclipse for years. I even wrote a presentation about it which I shared with my Toastmasters and Westminster Astronomy Society, Inc (WASI). In it, I talk about how back in 2023 I tried to get a hotel room on Lake Buchanan in Texas, and wasn’t able, but found this state park, right in the centerline of the Eclipse path, in the driest part of the county, just outside of Austin, TX. I worked out with my new job at CACI (which, BTW, is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had and a wonderful place to work and will always be my scheduling priority) that I could change my work location to Austin for the first two weeks of April 2024, and then booked a hotel in Cedar Park so that I would be close to work (actually two hotels were books and I only chose which one I would stay at in March), and got a TxTag so I could use the toll roads around Austin.

I spent March giving that presentation, scheduling a month of Green Pill Podcast episodes and posts (so I wouldn’t have to deal with them in Austin) and cleared my calendar for those two week, only allowing the most important commitments to bother me on my working-vacation. Since I was doing this myself, I used my own money to stay at the hotels, and wishing for adventure, I decided to take #NoSO2TeslaP三D down. (Fortunately, FSD (Supervised) V12 dropped just before I left.) And, I checked my Doctor Who watch log and prepared to watch the mostly missing The Mythmakers on the way there, The Dalek Masterplan while in Austin, and The Massacre of St Bartholomew’s Eve on the way back. My dad contacted me about borrowing his DJI Camera and I scheduled to pick it up two days before I left, the same day I tried to help a pregnant camper with the Green Cab group I’m a part of—which didn’t work out because I just couldn’t pick up the camera and get to the patient in time.

I put in my contacts and readied myself for the long drive.

Driving to Austin

I got up at 03:00 to watch my daily Doctor Who, and left at 04:00 on Friday, March 29. On the way, I attended many work meeting en route and nearly killing my hotspot fast-speed limit on the way. I first hit the Raphine, VA supercharger around 06:30, well before work began. Then, I drove to Atkins, VA, leaving around 10:30, and got my work computer set up for my work meetings. Around noon CDT—I’d crossed the time zone—there was some serious stop-and-go traffic on I40, in Kodak, TN, just outside of Knoxville, and I got rear-ended by an uninsured driver who didn’t leave me his name—I still have to get this fixed. I pulled into the Knoxville, TN supercharger about a half-hour later. I then attended the rest of my work meetings before arriving at Nashville/Charlotte, TN around 15:30, made it to Jackson, TN around 18:00. From there, I was lucky the Brinkley, AR was next to a hotel so I was able to sleep for 6 hours after charging my car to 100%.

I got back on the road around 04:00, arriving in Little Rock, AR around 05:00 with about 60%. I then hit Nash, AR before finally hitting Nash, TX, just outside Texarkana, around 07:15. I then drove a bit west of Dallas to the Royse City, TX supercharger at a Buc-ee’s, arriving around 09:45. I hit Abbott, TX around noon. Because I made such good time, and was looking to get to the hotel before check-in, I decided to instead head toward the Lake Buchanan park to scope it out for Eclipse photos, posting photos to instagram without revealing my location to keep it from being swarmed—and allow me to change my mind. Finally, I made it to the Cedar Park Supercharger, queued for a charge, and checked into my hotel around 17:30.

Working Vacation in Austin

Fortunately, I was able to cancel all my Saturday Morning Review meetings on transit days, committed to on the second Sunday morning there (the first Sunday was Easter and I just spent the day doing touristy things) and on my trip back to The Hourlings, attended my Reston Writers over Zoom (including one on the highway coming back from the Eclipse), attended my EVA/DC board meeting, my WASI meeting, a regularly scheduled Toastmasters meeting, and the Division E Toastmasters Evaluation Contest! I really didn’t want to participate in that while I was on vacation but I kind of fell into it by winning in March, so my Saturday morning before the Eclipse was toast. And that is, for me, a paired down commitment. I wanted to spend as much time as I could in Austin and focus on that, and not worry about what I would deal with when I got back, just in time to run the Science Book Club meeting in person. And I had to wash my car, twice.

I’m not going to talk about my actual eclipse experience here, just that I was not able to view the bats under the Congress Bridge in Austin and the Toastmasters contest and Testing the DJI Camera with a solar filter—which I hadn’t had a chance to test until that point—as well as getting enough charge for my ride, meant I really wasn’t able to do any tourism the weekend before the eclipse, and I was exhausted. But, I did get a call from our Toastmasters Area New Club Director about starting a club at CACI. Unfortunately, my reading glasses broke, the lens fell out, and I had to replace them, looking in H.E.B. and Walmart. I spent about a half-an-hour on the phone while I selected a pair I really liked for about $30.

I spend my last days in Austin meeting some of my awesome Austin colleagues, and attending drinks with the head of the office that Friday night, causing me to go to bed late.

Returning to Virginia

I got up at 03:00 on Saturday, 13 April, watched my daily Doctor Who, finished my Orange Juice, and hit the road around 04:30. I was too tired to take pictures at my first charging stop in Corsicana, TX, driving through the back roads of Texas. But I did get photos in Sulphur Springs, TX, in Hope, AR, in Little Rock, AR (again), in Memphis/Germantown, TN, in Dickson, TN, in Nashville/Charlotte, TN (again), and stopped at the Crossville Buc-ee’s. Unfortunately, the last stop was at a buc-ee’s and because I have mean old Tesla Insurance, it was 22:00, and I couldn’t drive anymore and had to sleep in my vehicle. My air mattress didn’t properly inflate for the first hour but, around 01:00 I hit the head in Buc-ee’s and got it properly inflated, getting a net of about 5 sleep before hitting the road again at 04:00.

I crossed the timezone and made it to Bristol, VA, at a lovely Royal Farms, right on the Tennessee border, around 07:30, just as the sun was rising. The sun looked amazing as I drove up I81 but when I got to Washington County, VA, I got my first speeding ticket in over a decade, all while going the same speed as the traffic around me. I guess the county is short on cash. Anyway, that delayed me arriving at the Sheetz station in Salem, VA, where I was subsequently late setting up the Hourlings Zoom, burning through the last of my hotspot bandwidth before they throttled me because the Sheetz wifi didn’t work. I got pulled over one more time outside of Salem because I accidently breezed passed a cop on FSD but I apologized as I didn’t get to the car and override in time, and he forgave me. Best cop ever! I’m glad he was safe. I then made it to the Mt. Jackson, VA supercharger around 14:45, which I had previously visited on my trip down Shenandoah National Park last Autumn—I was almost home! I didn’t have time to take a much needed shower, but I did have time to get to the car wash before attending my 17:00 meeting at the Panera. I finally had my shower when I got home, and I slept—fitfully.

A Killer Workweek

The main problem with not getting enough sleep is my productivity drops off. Combine that with 2 days of driving and looking at my calendar and seeing events not just 2 days the following week, not just 3 days. Not even 4 days, but 5 days, one every day of the week leading up to Earth Day and that weekend before Earth Day being chocablock with events too, about 3 per day! Combine that with 43 hours of work and you can see why I’m very frazzled.

My first day at work I did my best to move to my new cube (we moved cubes the day I got back) and was so tired, when I tried to recycle my soda and sandwich bag, I had the soda and my glasses in one hand and the sandwich back in the other, intending to recycle the soda and the bag but forgetting the glasses were in my hand too. When I tossed the soda bottle and everything else in my hand, I was confused to see the bag in my other hand. I stared at the trash, wondering what else was in that hand if not the sandwich bag. When I got home, I realized it was my reading glasses. I had to rush home to run Reston Writers’ Review, and I started cursing abominably because I was late and I needed my glasses to read the pieces and write my notes. I met one of my writers in the lobby and he tried to calm me down, but I had to trudge all the way up to my apartment, fetch my old, cellophane taped glasses to run the meeting. I then had to drive back to work, dig through trash, unsuccessfully, and then buy a cheap replacement in Walmart, driving home past the high insurance 22:00 point! That was just day one!?

The rest of the week wasn’t much better. Tuesday, I drove to Columbia for the April Tesla Tuesdays. Wednesday I met with my therapist, missing about half of a work meeting because I couldn’t get sound to work in the car, then drove to the EVA/DC monthly meeting. On Thursday I had Toastmasters, where I was the General Evaluator. And on Friday, I drove down to Regency Furniture Stadium for a secret Tesla event! Meanwhile, at work, my branch had gone out of sync with the main branch, and I had to soft reset it to get it back in sync, but when I did, I forgot to copy all my old commit messages, which had all my notes from my work up until that point. Again, I need sleep because my productivity sinks when I’m tired.

Insane Weekend

Next, I look at my weekend schedule for the first time because, when could I have looked at it sooner. I had a Tesla event in at the Starr Brewery at The Perch (to see a CyberTruck but I saw one in Texarkana so I was good), another in Clarksville Common, and a cosplay event in Ellicott City. I decided to attend all three but I screwed up royally because I forgot to pay for and get a ticket to the Cosplay event, and didn’t check the web page for where the munchie squad would be so I ended up crashing, uninvited, and almost got kicked out of the group which I had been one of the founding members. And thus, I wasn’t able to obtain any photos of that event. And that was just Saturday.

One Sunday, I had a writing seminar with The Hourlings, and then an event in Herndon to promote vegan and sustainable living. I attended the last two hours of the Herndon event, since I was double-booked, then went home for the movie discussion with the Maryland Science Book Club. I was going to meet my friend Lisa that evening but, since she was organizing a very important event taking place today, which I sadly can’t make because of work, we agreed that we were both too busy to make that happen. But, I hope to see her Saturday!

Overscheduling and Undersleeping

Needless to say I was even more exhausted after all that and was happy to cancel the Monday night Reston Writers meeting, quite sleepless, even forgetting my daily weigh-in! I went from a week where every day I had an event to a week where I only had one evening event. Bliss? No, because I have fallen behind with my work and my boss has noticed and put me on warning in our quarterly touchpoints. This is very not good. So, I’m going to shut up now, and get back to work because nothing, but nothing, right now, in my life is more important to me than my job!

My therapist sent my an article which exemplifies my conundrum: How to Stop Overscheduling Yourself.

Take care gentle reader and remember, tomorrow is another day, and another chance to get a good night’s sleep!

The Green Pill Podcast: Self-Sabotage

This episode hits a little bit close to home. There are many things in my life that I regret, and most of them I can only blame myself, for sometimes AITA, am I the Asshole, yes.

For instance, there are two gentlemen I admire, look up to, and wish to emulate, both of who shown too bright and no longer consider me a friend. And, in both cases, it was because I was the Asshole.

A.K.

I’d known A.K. since college and always admired his intelligence, maturity, and thoughtful Canadian who I very much enjoyed talking to and doing things like discussing MST3K, watching RiffTrax together, and coding Python sprints. However, as my marriage started to dissolve, and after a brutal 2021 where I lost so much, continuing to hurt, I was finally starting to see the light as I was stressing over the planning for my half-century birthday bash, when all hell broke loose like a erupting volcano! The week before the festivities, the Supreme Court cast the perhaps worst ruling since Plessy v. Ferguson and Buck v. Bell when the corrupt court decided Dobbs v. Jackson. Of course, as an ERA warrior, I was dismayed, but as a new bachelor, I was apoplectic! Here I was, coming out of a marriage where I didn’t have any access to the one thing that monogamous relations restrict to the relations, I was terrified, incorrectly, I was about to be a bachelor entering a world where physical intimacy was impossible. Unfortunately, I said some things publicly which were reprehensible following the ruling and thus I Self-Sabotaged. A.K. blocked me on social networks and greenpdidn’t come to my party and since then he refuses to even hang out with me apart from allowing me to attend his Maryland Science Book Club. Yes, I was the 100% asshole.

D.B. and L.B.

Then there was time I was ready to start my Bachelorship and looking forward to spend more time with D.B. and L.B. Unfortunately, L.B., who I still care about deeply, got very sick from a nasty chronic condition, the same condition my late Aunt used to suffer from, so it became increasingly impossible to spend time with her. It got to the point that unless it was a very good day, she couldn’t even leave the home she shared with D.B.

L.B. and I were really good friends—we even talked about divorcing at the same time (unfortunately, it took me much longer to realize I needed to go). But, the thing is, it was her boyfriend D.B. who I really admired and wished to emulate. D.B. started a Dungeons & Dragons game before the pandemic and was kind enough to invite me to join. I was thrilled to be a part of the campaign and really enjoyed having him as dungeon master. But, L.B. got sick, and then the pandemic came, and we could no longer play D&D except over Zoom. I missed the personal interactions but I accepted the pragmatic limitations.

The thing is, D.B. and L.B. lived about an hour drive away, so whenever I was going to be close to where they were, I would send them a message asking if they were up to meeting. I didn’t think at the time that L.B. may not be up to meeting and was just sad at the repeated refusals. And so, I became an Asshole. I misinterpreted the refusals D.B. saying he and L.B. didn’t want to hang around with me, and said so, and after that I was blocked by D.B. and kicked out of his D&D game.

That loss caused me to truly hit an all-time low, confused about how I could have done so wrong, and finally forced myself to find a new therapist, since my old one was no longer covered by my insurance. In many ways, I think my mind reeling and making bad assumptions is very typical of an ADHD brain, and as that was the best explanation for why we were no longer friends, I posted a video trying to explain how I tend to self-sabotage, thinking I have friends I don’t deserve, and saying and doing things that fulfill my inner demon’s predictions where I will ultimately always say the wrong thing. Of course, me being an asshole, I didn’t realise the video should be interpreted as someone whining about being hurt by rejection when I only saw it as apologizing for overreacting to rejection. I tagged L.B. on social media and she interpreted it in the former way and began crying profusely while I was at work in the SCIF. It was so bad that my hero D.B. unblocked me just to tell me I did this to L.B. I was mortified and knew I could not say anything to defend myself, that anything I would say would make it worse, and I had to return to the SCIF. And, I had to be an asshole.

E.P.

After I started living on my own, I started dating a friend of mine I met through Bumble‘s BFF feature. E.P. and I got along great and when she suggested we become more than just friends, I ended my relationship at the time and started dating her. We had some awesome experiences together and I even cooked her Lobster on her birthday. But, as the summer drifted into autumn, we started to see less of one another. Then, last November, I had tickets to one of Taylor Tomlinson‘s last two shows on her Have It All tour. I got the ticket months earlier, constantly refreshing the app to get them as soon as they opened, while sitting in the parking lot of my work since I didn’t want to be in the SCIF when I made the purchase. As the day loomed neerer, I went out with a greedy woman who clearly wanted to just get the ticket out of me, and my friend L.S., who I really wanted to go with, was part of a press conference in New York, so she couldn’t make it. So, I ended up inviting E.P. I found out later L.S.’s conference was cancelled, but by then it was too late, as I’d already invited E.P.

E.P. and I had fun, and she got me a nice gift, making me want to return the favour. We weren’t intimate that time, though we had been before, mainly because I didn’t want her to think I was quid pro quo with her. I remember her mentioning she liked some special socks and wanted some special tea so I went and got some inadvertently crappy socks and really nice tea from Ireland. I tried and tried to meet up with her again, but things kept coming up. Finally, we set a date where we could meet for two hours. In the runup to our date, she texted me that her husband—yes, she was married, but she told me she was ENM and I’d have ended it otherwise—said she couldn’t go out. I, of course, being the asshole that I am, misinterpreted this and the husband saying she couldn’t go out that Thursday, and assumed we were still meeting that weekend. So I texted her a few times over the weekend, asking when she was going to get here, and accepting she might not make it. She never replied because of course she had told me she wasn’t going to make it. My overthinking mind misinterpret things and she blocked me. The asshole strikes again.

L.S.

Back in January, L.S., who I am quite attracted to romantically, invited me to a play to raise money for the homeless. I was excited to go and wanted to sit with her. I got their early and scanned the audience, but didn’t spot her. I looked and looks but L.S. was nowhere to be seen. So I found a seat in the third row, right and began to enjoy the performance of Annie. Midway through the third act, one of the actors escorted in a woman—L.S. I didn’t know at the time that he was one of the performers but I decided if L.S. had company, I wasn’t going to disturb her. So, at intermission, I ignored her. I intentionally kept to myself, reading the playbill. Like an asshole. I met her after the play and we did have a nice chat and she seemed to want to continue chatting but I had to get home before my Safety Score went up for driving after 22:00, raising my Insurance. And so I said goodnight, and left as the asshole I was.

AITA?

Actually, it’s complicated. In those situations, yes, I was an asshole. But am I an asshole? No! Most assuredly not. I admit I make mistakes because to see our own mistakes is the only way we can learn from them. So, I accept my poor behavior as being poor, but I’m the better man for it, for I learn from my self-sabotage and I do things differently. And that’s the point. Sometimes you can’t avoid being the asshole—but, unless you learn from it, you’re going to be the asshole again.

All this and more is covered in our episode on Self-Sabatoge.

Allow Me to Choose Your Districts

In 2021, the United States performs its decennial process of drawing legislative districts. I, for one, have been very concerned about how this process will go and rather than sit by and let it happen, I want to be involved. This is why I am applying to the Virginia Redistricting Commission.

To that effect, here is my statement:

I feel that I would be an instrumental member of Virginia’s 2021 Redistricting Commission. I am a Progressive with a Conservative relations including members of my very close family. I also have a number of conservative friends. I feel being able to talk to the other party is key to choosing fair districts. I believe in ending Gerrymandering and stopping the practice of Packing and Cracking. I also am an ardent supporter of the Voting Rights Act and want to make sure our General Assembly and Congressional Delegation reflect the basic makeup of the citizenry of Virginia.

This can be accomplished by making sure some districts are biased toward those protected groups while avoiding packing too many and diluting voting power overall. I am a firm believer in the compactness and political efficiency of legislative districts. Compactness is just the perimeter divided by 4π times the area of a district with the fraction being the compactness measure, and 1.00 (100%) is perfectly compact. I also want to use political efficiency to choose our districts. Efficient districts are competitive districts. And the safer a seat, the more wasted votes on that seat. Any vote beyond the minimum needed to win is a wasted vote and I want all our districts to be as politically efficient as possible and waste as few votes as possible.

I am a software engineer and I know that with these 3 scoring algorithms weighted VRA above Efficiency above Compactness, and trying to get the best score overall, that a program can generate perfect, fair, and equal districts using machine learning and game theory. I also want to follow the 12-year rule to bias the result. If we look at the last 16 state-wide elections over the 12-year period from 2009–2020, we expect our House of Delegates to be 51 Democrats, 48 Republicans, and 1 Independent (perhaps Libertarian). Though districts of pure third party would be difficult, a split of about 51/48 ±1 seat does align well with the will of the Virginia people and should be an idea we espouse as a board. I’m here to make sure our board follows these ideals and I know I will be a very valuable member of the committee. I look forward to joining the team.

Application for Service on the Virginia Redistricting Commission, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

Please note, that I have redacted the list of conservative family members I have. I do list them in the application but wish to maintain their privacy as Trump voters.

EDIT 2020-12-05: I spoke to some of my family and we agreed that by changing the text to what’s above I could share with you the full text from my application. That said, there is something I am still considering adding of a personal nature.

In any case, I don’t know when I would have time to write such a program, but I know how I would do it and I would love the opportunity to try!

36 Hours…

I bought my current iPhone on 30 September 2013—over 7 years ago. My iPhone 5S has served me well throughout the years but for the last fourteen months or so, I have been chafing over the inability to upgrade my phone to the latest Operating System. I knew then that, despite preferring the finger login, it was time for an upgrade or the massive, up-front cost.

However, I wasn’t ready just yet. Then SARS-CoV-2 happened, I had to quit my job for more money. Then COVIDWISE was released, and yet totally incompatible with my phone! This wan’t even the first app I was unable to download requiring Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE) technology. I was becoming more and more distressed over my inability to install the apps I so desperately wanted—even more so having forgotten some of them with no way to bookmark or remember. And, as an App Developer, I really should have the latest gear to test out the latest technologies.

iPhone 12 Pro Max ½TB, Blue
iPhone 12 Pro Max ½TB, Blue

On 10 July, with my final vacation payout, I decided it was time to upgrade. I knew a new Phone was coming soon—and hoped it would add 5G support. I waited. The September Apple event came with no update. The October Apple event came with an announcement but you still couldn’t buy the iPhone 12 Pro. The date on the order page said I had to wait until 23 October for that. So I waited so more. I got up early on that Friday and, yes, the iPhone 12 Pro was available, but not the 12 Pro Max! I had to wait until 6 November for that!

And I did.

The phone is on its way. 36 hours and counting…

iPhone 12 Pro Max in Transit
iPhone 12 Pro Max in Transit

Keep coding my friends and write great software. I hope you will be as gainfully employed as me, soon!