The Green Pill Podcast: Cleanliness

This is one topic I hold quite dear as someone who constantly worries about the way I smell. I used to be a quite ripe individual and I’m very not proud of that. I even used to use cologne, which I’m very ashamed of because many people are allergic to cologne and perfume more so than even natural human oders. That’s why I try to make sure to shower regularly and keep my teeth healthy and clean.

I’ve had dental problems from no doing enough for my teeth. The dentist actually found nine potential bacterial strains in a recent test. I typically see my dentist thrice a year to make sure my teeth and gums are as healthy and clean as they can be. Dental hygiene is just as critical has washing up, because nothing is more off-putting than talking to someone with bad breath.

As for keeping clean, as I have posted before, I was in Texas for the 2024 solar eclipse. It’s a long drive to and from Austin, where I was halfway between my home and Los Angeles, but the 18–19 hours of day one driving from 04:00 to 22:00, to satisfy the Tesla Insurance gods, then another 10–11 hours of driving leaves #NoSO2TeslaP三D and myself rather dirty. A round trip of about 2,500 mi (about 4,000 km), all on Full Self-Driving (Supervised) version 12.

I got a couple car washes in Texas, one of which was the park and let the washer mover around you type, which did okay but the pollen then dirtied the vehicle again, so I had to wash it again. And when I got back from sleeping in the car at a Buc-ee’s, both of us needed a wash badly. I was able to take my ride to my usual place, but the shower had to wait until after the Science Book Club meeting, alas. But oh, did that shower finally feel so very, very good, and clean, fresh clothes the next morning!

So, take a shower and brush those teeth gentle readers and be refreshed and ready to make new friends and meet people, the green pill way.

To Sleep, perchance to dream

Last year, I read the book Outlive by Peter Attia, MD in my Science Book Club, and although it is cliché, this book did indeed change my life. The TLDR is simply this: to live a healthy you need four pillars of living today to be ready for tomorrow: improved strength, good balance, cardiovascular improvements, and sleep! I have 10 lb / 4.5 kg weights I need to start pumping one of these days for strength. I need to do more yoga, like Saturdays at 11:00 in my apartment, but alas that’s during my Saturday Morning Review. But, for cardio, I climb all 15 flights every time I leave my apartment, typically at lease once a day, and have made a rule to never take the elevator up when I can find the staircase (though I do take it down).

As for sleep, I am epicly failing and it’s really getting to me. But, to fully lay this story out, let’s go back to March of 2024.

Eclipse Planning

I had been planning for the 2024 eclipse for years. I even wrote a presentation about it which I shared with my Toastmasters and Westminster Astronomy Society, Inc (WASI). In it, I talk about how back in 2023 I tried to get a hotel room on Lake Buchanan in Texas, and wasn’t able, but found this state park, right in the centerline of the Eclipse path, in the driest part of the county, just outside of Austin, TX. I worked out with my new job at CACI (which, BTW, is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had and a wonderful place to work and will always be my scheduling priority) that I could change my work location to Austin for the first two weeks of April 2024, and then booked a hotel in Cedar Park so that I would be close to work (actually two hotels were books and I only chose which one I would stay at in March), and got a TxTag so I could use the toll roads around Austin.

I spent March giving that presentation, scheduling a month of Green Pill Podcast episodes and posts (so I wouldn’t have to deal with them in Austin) and cleared my calendar for those two week, only allowing the most important commitments to bother me on my working-vacation. Since I was doing this myself, I used my own money to stay at the hotels, and wishing for adventure, I decided to take #NoSO2TeslaP三D down. (Fortunately, FSD (Supervised) V12 dropped just before I left.) And, I checked my Doctor Who watch log and prepared to watch the mostly missing The Mythmakers on the way there, The Dalek Masterplan while in Austin, and The Massacre of St Bartholomew’s Eve on the way back. My dad contacted me about borrowing his DJI Camera and I scheduled to pick it up two days before I left, the same day I tried to help a pregnant camper with the Green Cab group I’m a part of—which didn’t work out because I just couldn’t pick up the camera and get to the patient in time.

I put in my contacts and readied myself for the long drive.

Driving to Austin

I got up at 03:00 to watch my daily Doctor Who, and left at 04:00 on Friday, March 29. On the way, I attended many work meeting en route and nearly killing my hotspot fast-speed limit on the way. I first hit the Raphine, VA supercharger around 06:30, well before work began. Then, I drove to Atkins, VA, leaving around 10:30, and got my work computer set up for my work meetings. Around noon CDT—I’d crossed the time zone—there was some serious stop-and-go traffic on I40, in Kodak, TN, just outside of Knoxville, and I got rear-ended by an uninsured driver who didn’t leave me his name—I still have to get this fixed. I pulled into the Knoxville, TN supercharger about a half-hour later. I then attended the rest of my work meetings before arriving at Nashville/Charlotte, TN around 15:30, made it to Jackson, TN around 18:00. From there, I was lucky the Brinkley, AR was next to a hotel so I was able to sleep for 6 hours after charging my car to 100%.

I got back on the road around 04:00, arriving in Little Rock, AR around 05:00 with about 60%. I then hit Nash, AR before finally hitting Nash, TX, just outside Texarkana, around 07:15. I then drove a bit west of Dallas to the Royse City, TX supercharger at a Buc-ee’s, arriving around 09:45. I hit Abbott, TX around noon. Because I made such good time, and was looking to get to the hotel before check-in, I decided to instead head toward the Lake Buchanan park to scope it out for Eclipse photos, posting photos to instagram without revealing my location to keep it from being swarmed—and allow me to change my mind. Finally, I made it to the Cedar Park Supercharger, queued for a charge, and checked into my hotel around 17:30.

Working Vacation in Austin

Fortunately, I was able to cancel all my Saturday Morning Review meetings on transit days, committed to on the second Sunday morning there (the first Sunday was Easter and I just spent the day doing touristy things) and on my trip back to The Hourlings, attended my Reston Writers over Zoom (including one on the highway coming back from the Eclipse), attended my EVA/DC board meeting, my WASI meeting, a regularly scheduled Toastmasters meeting, and the Division E Toastmasters Evaluation Contest! I really didn’t want to participate in that while I was on vacation but I kind of fell into it by winning in March, so my Saturday morning before the Eclipse was toast. And that is, for me, a paired down commitment. I wanted to spend as much time as I could in Austin and focus on that, and not worry about what I would deal with when I got back, just in time to run the Science Book Club meeting in person. And I had to wash my car, twice.

I’m not going to talk about my actual eclipse experience here, just that I was not able to view the bats under the Congress Bridge in Austin and the Toastmasters contest and Testing the DJI Camera with a solar filter—which I hadn’t had a chance to test until that point—as well as getting enough charge for my ride, meant I really wasn’t able to do any tourism the weekend before the eclipse, and I was exhausted. But, I did get a call from our Toastmasters Area New Club Director about starting a club at CACI. Unfortunately, my reading glasses broke, the lens fell out, and I had to replace them, looking in H.E.B. and Walmart. I spent about a half-an-hour on the phone while I selected a pair I really liked for about $30.

I spend my last days in Austin meeting some of my awesome Austin colleagues, and attending drinks with the head of the office that Friday night, causing me to go to bed late.

Returning to Virginia

I got up at 03:00 on Saturday, 13 April, watched my daily Doctor Who, finished my Orange Juice, and hit the road around 04:30. I was too tired to take pictures at my first charging stop in Corsicana, TX, driving through the back roads of Texas. But I did get photos in Sulphur Springs, TX, in Hope, AR, in Little Rock, AR (again), in Memphis/Germantown, TN, in Dickson, TN, in Nashville/Charlotte, TN (again), and stopped at the Crossville Buc-ee’s. Unfortunately, the last stop was at a buc-ee’s and because I have mean old Tesla Insurance, it was 22:00, and I couldn’t drive anymore and had to sleep in my vehicle. My air mattress didn’t properly inflate for the first hour but, around 01:00 I hit the head in Buc-ee’s and got it properly inflated, getting a net of about 5 sleep before hitting the road again at 04:00.

I crossed the timezone and made it to Bristol, VA, at a lovely Royal Farms, right on the Tennessee border, around 07:30, just as the sun was rising. The sun looked amazing as I drove up I81 but when I got to Washington County, VA, I got my first speeding ticket in over a decade, all while going the same speed as the traffic around me. I guess the county is short on cash. Anyway, that delayed me arriving at the Sheetz station in Salem, VA, where I was subsequently late setting up the Hourlings Zoom, burning through the last of my hotspot bandwidth before they throttled me because the Sheetz wifi didn’t work. I got pulled over one more time outside of Salem because I accidently breezed passed a cop on FSD but I apologized as I didn’t get to the car and override in time, and he forgave me. Best cop ever! I’m glad he was safe. I then made it to the Mt. Jackson, VA supercharger around 14:45, which I had previously visited on my trip down Shenandoah National Park last Autumn—I was almost home! I didn’t have time to take a much needed shower, but I did have time to get to the car wash before attending my 17:00 meeting at the Panera. I finally had my shower when I got home, and I slept—fitfully.

A Killer Workweek

The main problem with not getting enough sleep is my productivity drops off. Combine that with 2 days of driving and looking at my calendar and seeing events not just 2 days the following week, not just 3 days. Not even 4 days, but 5 days, one every day of the week leading up to Earth Day and that weekend before Earth Day being chocablock with events too, about 3 per day! Combine that with 43 hours of work and you can see why I’m very frazzled.

My first day at work I did my best to move to my new cube (we moved cubes the day I got back) and was so tired, when I tried to recycle my soda and sandwich bag, I had the soda and my glasses in one hand and the sandwich back in the other, intending to recycle the soda and the bag but forgetting the glasses were in my hand too. When I tossed the soda bottle and everything else in my hand, I was confused to see the bag in my other hand. I stared at the trash, wondering what else was in that hand if not the sandwich bag. When I got home, I realized it was my reading glasses. I had to rush home to run Reston Writers’ Review, and I started cursing abominably because I was late and I needed my glasses to read the pieces and write my notes. I met one of my writers in the lobby and he tried to calm me down, but I had to trudge all the way up to my apartment, fetch my old, cellophane taped glasses to run the meeting. I then had to drive back to work, dig through trash, unsuccessfully, and then buy a cheap replacement in Walmart, driving home past the high insurance 22:00 point! That was just day one!?

The rest of the week wasn’t much better. Tuesday, I drove to Columbia for the April Tesla Tuesdays. Wednesday I met with my therapist, missing about half of a work meeting because I couldn’t get sound to work in the car, then drove to the EVA/DC monthly meeting. On Thursday I had Toastmasters, where I was the General Evaluator. And on Friday, I drove down to Regency Furniture Stadium for a secret Tesla event! Meanwhile, at work, my branch had gone out of sync with the main branch, and I had to soft reset it to get it back in sync, but when I did, I forgot to copy all my old commit messages, which had all my notes from my work up until that point. Again, I need sleep because my productivity sinks when I’m tired.

Insane Weekend

Next, I look at my weekend schedule for the first time because, when could I have looked at it sooner. I had a Tesla event in at the Starr Brewery at The Perch (to see a CyberTruck but I saw one in Texarkana so I was good), another in Clarksville Common, and a cosplay event in Ellicott City. I decided to attend all three but I screwed up royally because I forgot to pay for and get a ticket to the Cosplay event, and didn’t check the web page for where the munchie squad would be so I ended up crashing, uninvited, and almost got kicked out of the group which I had been one of the founding members. And thus, I wasn’t able to obtain any photos of that event. And that was just Saturday.

One Sunday, I had a writing seminar with The Hourlings, and then an event in Herndon to promote vegan and sustainable living. I attended the last two hours of the Herndon event, since I was double-booked, then went home for the movie discussion with the Maryland Science Book Club. I was going to meet my friend Lisa that evening but, since she was organizing a very important event taking place today, which I sadly can’t make because of work, we agreed that we were both too busy to make that happen. But, I hope to see her Saturday!

Overscheduling and Undersleeping

Needless to say I was even more exhausted after all that and was happy to cancel the Monday night Reston Writers meeting, quite sleepless, even forgetting my daily weigh-in! I went from a week where every day I had an event to a week where I only had one evening event. Bliss? No, because I have fallen behind with my work and my boss has noticed and put me on warning in our quarterly touchpoints. This is very not good. So, I’m going to shut up now, and get back to work because nothing, but nothing, right now, in my life is more important to me than my job!

My therapist sent my an article which exemplifies my conundrum: How to Stop Overscheduling Yourself.

Take care gentle reader and remember, tomorrow is another day, and another chance to get a good night’s sleep!

The Green Pill Podcast: Self-Sabotage

This episode hits a little bit close to home. There are many things in my life that I regret, and most of them I can only blame myself, for sometimes AITA, am I the Asshole, yes.

For instance, there are two gentlemen I admire, look up to, and wish to emulate, both of who shown too bright and no longer consider me a friend. And, in both cases, it was because I was the Asshole.

A.K.

I’d known A.K. since college and always admired his intelligence, maturity, and thoughtful Canadian who I very much enjoyed talking to and doing things like discussing MST3K, watching RiffTrax together, and coding Python sprints. However, as my marriage started to dissolve, and after a brutal 2021 where I lost so much, continuing to hurt, I was finally starting to see the light as I was stressing over the planning for my half-century birthday bash, when all hell broke loose like a erupting volcano! The week before the festivities, the Supreme Court cast the perhaps worst ruling since Plessy v. Ferguson and Buck v. Bell when the corrupt court decided Dobbs v. Jackson. Of course, as an ERA warrior, I was dismayed, but as a new bachelor, I was apoplectic! Here I was, coming out of a marriage where I didn’t have any access to the one thing that monogamous relations restrict to the relations, I was terrified, incorrectly, I was about to be a bachelor entering a world where physical intimacy was impossible. Unfortunately, I said some things publicly which were reprehensible following the ruling and thus I Self-Sabotaged. A.K. blocked me on social networks and greenpdidn’t come to my party and since then he refuses to even hang out with me apart from allowing me to attend his Maryland Science Book Club. Yes, I was the 100% asshole.

D.B. and L.B.

Then there was time I was ready to start my Bachelorship and looking forward to spend more time with D.B. and L.B. Unfortunately, L.B., who I still care about deeply, got very sick from a nasty chronic condition, the same condition my late Aunt used to suffer from, so it became increasingly impossible to spend time with her. It got to the point that unless it was a very good day, she couldn’t even leave the home she shared with D.B.

L.B. and I were really good friends—we even talked about divorcing at the same time (unfortunately, it took me much longer to realize I needed to go). But, the thing is, it was her boyfriend D.B. who I really admired and wished to emulate. D.B. started a Dungeons & Dragons game before the pandemic and was kind enough to invite me to join. I was thrilled to be a part of the campaign and really enjoyed having him as dungeon master. But, L.B. got sick, and then the pandemic came, and we could no longer play D&D except over Zoom. I missed the personal interactions but I accepted the pragmatic limitations.

The thing is, D.B. and L.B. lived about an hour drive away, so whenever I was going to be close to where they were, I would send them a message asking if they were up to meeting. I didn’t think at the time that L.B. may not be up to meeting and was just sad at the repeated refusals. And so, I became an Asshole. I misinterpreted the refusals D.B. saying he and L.B. didn’t want to hang around with me, and said so, and after that I was blocked by D.B. and kicked out of his D&D game.

That loss caused me to truly hit an all-time low, confused about how I could have done so wrong, and finally forced myself to find a new therapist, since my old one was no longer covered by my insurance. In many ways, I think my mind reeling and making bad assumptions is very typical of an ADHD brain, and as that was the best explanation for why we were no longer friends, I posted a video trying to explain how I tend to self-sabotage, thinking I have friends I don’t deserve, and saying and doing things that fulfill my inner demon’s predictions where I will ultimately always say the wrong thing. Of course, me being an asshole, I didn’t realise the video should be interpreted as someone whining about being hurt by rejection when I only saw it as apologizing for overreacting to rejection. I tagged L.B. on social media and she interpreted it in the former way and began crying profusely while I was at work in the SCIF. It was so bad that my hero D.B. unblocked me just to tell me I did this to L.B. I was mortified and knew I could not say anything to defend myself, that anything I would say would make it worse, and I had to return to the SCIF. And, I had to be an asshole.

E.P.

After I started living on my own, I started dating a friend of mine I met through Bumble‘s BFF feature. E.P. and I got along great and when she suggested we become more than just friends, I ended my relationship at the time and started dating her. We had some awesome experiences together and I even cooked her Lobster on her birthday. But, as the summer drifted into autumn, we started to see less of one another. Then, last November, I had tickets to one of Taylor Tomlinson‘s last two shows on her Have It All tour. I got the ticket months earlier, constantly refreshing the app to get them as soon as they opened, while sitting in the parking lot of my work since I didn’t want to be in the SCIF when I made the purchase. As the day loomed neerer, I went out with a greedy woman who clearly wanted to just get the ticket out of me, and my friend L.S., who I really wanted to go with, was part of a press conference in New York, so she couldn’t make it. So, I ended up inviting E.P. I found out later L.S.’s conference was cancelled, but by then it was too late, as I’d already invited E.P.

E.P. and I had fun, and she got me a nice gift, making me want to return the favour. We weren’t intimate that time, though we had been before, mainly because I didn’t want her to think I was quid pro quo with her. I remember her mentioning she liked some special socks and wanted some special tea so I went and got some inadvertently crappy socks and really nice tea from Ireland. I tried and tried to meet up with her again, but things kept coming up. Finally, we set a date where we could meet for two hours. In the runup to our date, she texted me that her husband—yes, she was married, but she told me she was ENM and I’d have ended it otherwise—said she couldn’t go out. I, of course, being the asshole that I am, misinterpreted this and the husband saying she couldn’t go out that Thursday, and assumed we were still meeting that weekend. So I texted her a few times over the weekend, asking when she was going to get here, and accepting she might not make it. She never replied because of course she had told me she wasn’t going to make it. My overthinking mind misinterpret things and she blocked me. The asshole strikes again.

L.S.

Back in January, L.S., who I am quite attracted to romantically, invited me to a play to raise money for the homeless. I was excited to go and wanted to sit with her. I got their early and scanned the audience, but didn’t spot her. I looked and looks but L.S. was nowhere to be seen. So I found a seat in the third row, right and began to enjoy the performance of Annie. Midway through the third act, one of the actors escorted in a woman—L.S. I didn’t know at the time that he was one of the performers but I decided if L.S. had company, I wasn’t going to disturb her. So, at intermission, I ignored her. I intentionally kept to myself, reading the playbill. Like an asshole. I met her after the play and we did have a nice chat and she seemed to want to continue chatting but I had to get home before my Safety Score went up for driving after 22:00, raising my Insurance. And so I said goodnight, and left as the asshole I was.

AITA?

Actually, it’s complicated. In those situations, yes, I was an asshole. But am I an asshole? No! Most assuredly not. I admit I make mistakes because to see our own mistakes is the only way we can learn from them. So, I accept my poor behavior as being poor, but I’m the better man for it, for I learn from my self-sabotage and I do things differently. And that’s the point. Sometimes you can’t avoid being the asshole—but, unless you learn from it, you’re going to be the asshole again.

All this and more is covered in our episode on Self-Sabatoge.

Community Room at The Avant

A Half-Century of a TimeHorse

In one month, I will be celebrating my half-century of existence. What’s more, I will, for the first time in a quarter century, single. After much hemming and hawing over my continued love for the woman who was my wife, with the frustration over so many things I can’t discuss, the coup de gras being things like Nowhere to run? and Sheltered in Place with a Domestic Abuser? and incessant unnecessary forced to sanitize when we really should just Relax—you actually don’t need to sanitize your food!

The thing is, these days I need to physically leave my premises 3 days a week because I’m required in the office. I’m typically the only one wearing a mask there because I do believe in being cautious—especially since the recent SARS-CoV-2 outbreak. It’s not like I’m endangering myself when I go to a writing group or an electric car event. I use due caution every time I’m out, typically 5 days a week. I’ve even tested negative, and triple vaccinated!

You’d think that’d be enough, but nope. Every time I return to the house, I have to do the four S‘s. I’m effectively forced to Surrender all of my items—iPhone, Apple Watch, wallet, even my glasses and wait for them to be Sanitized! Then I need to Strip to my underwear because my clothes “must be contaminated”. Finally, I’m supposed to Shower, but and only when I come home, never in the morning or before I go out.

I put up with a lot for all these years, from a profound lack of physical intimacy to constant threats of divorce whenever she was cross with me. I put up with it for all these years because I truly believed she was the best woman I could ever hope to be with. The truth is, she may still be the best, but with all I have to deal with, I would quite frankly rather be alone—though I’m not dead yet, so we’ll see what the future holds.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s taking me so long to move to my new apartment, especially since I’ve been paying rent since 30 January. Well, for the last 11 years, I have been enjoying extremely inexpensive charging at my house on the Dominion Schedule EV with my Clipper Creek CS-100. But, when I got #CO2Fre, my first Tesla #P三D, it came with free, unlimited SuperCharging. The plan was, I could take advantage of the free fuel, move to an apartment, and just charge up the vehicle on my way to work at the Sterling Supercharger.

But then, while coming back from a Star Wars cosplay event, where I was cosplaying Grand Moff Tarkin, running late for a barbeque with my brother, I found myself on the most evil road in all of Fairfax County. Braddock Road is mostly a straight road, but it makes this one incongruous bend which is the bane of all my existence. I had just paid off #CO2Fre 24 days earlier, when, on 25 July 2021, the same year I watched my mother die and attended my dear Aunt’s funeral, the greatest car I’ll ever own, and my ticket out of here was totaled. I was taken to the hospital and, because of the airbag deployment, I was even left in a cast—which you can see on my TikTok. To top it all off, my uncle died on 31 December 2021 to cap off an utterly tragic year.

GEICO and Tesla refused to fix it. I lost my ride, my free fuel, and my free celular entertainment system, the later a $99 per year value. Supercharging I can’t even begin to estimate, because I wasn’t using it during the Pandemic, and I knew I would need it when I moved to an apartment.

As it was, I did find an apartment with EV Charging. However, if you don’t move your car within 4 hours, you will be charged an arm and a leg, meaning you’d have to get home, and set an alarm to remind you to go back down and move your car. What’s more, while charging under Schedule EV costs me about 7.5¢ per kWh, the apartment costs 15¢ per kWh, double the price. And, if I wanted to use the Supercharger, it would cost 30¢ per kWh, four times what I’m used to paying. And that cost is constantly increasing!

People seriously lambasted me on social networks when I lost #CO2Fre. Of course, it’s just a car, but my whole plan went up in ashes with that loss, and here I am, 123 days with an empty apartment, stuck with the quadruple S‘s, because I just want keep saving on fuel. That’s why I was so sad when I lost my ride, because I knew life would be more expensive and I would end up staying longer than I needed. I wish folks could have understood—I had to take whole 2 month hiatus from social networks to avoid the vitriol.

However, here we are, today. I now have #NoSO2TeslaP三D, I pay for Supercharging and Premium Connectivity, but I got rid of GEICO, who grossly undervalued my precious ride, and now am insured by Tesla, constantly trying to improve my Safety Score to lower my insurance rate, as well as finally qualify to beta test my $14,000 investment in the Full Self-Driving Beta. And my wife is working with my to get the divorce finalized as soon as possible as a final birthday present to me.

And you know what? Imma have a party! A party to celebrate a half-century of existence, a party to celebrate my divorce and freeness, a part to play board games and sing karaoke and cosplay at your leisure, to grill with my brother and have pizza aplenty with plenty of vegetarian and other dietary options as requested. And unlike Jeffrey’s Jammin Birthday Bash 2 years ago, this party will be in person, on the third floor and community space of my new apartment in Reston Town Center. I’m hoping maybe even the Metro will open by then, but then, I’ll be lucky to just have you show up.

Get your free tickets here! Please remember to RSVP so I can let the concierge know you’re coming.