The Green Pill Podcast: Self-Sabotage

This episode hits a little bit close to home. There are many things in my life that I regret, and most of them I can only blame myself, for sometimes AITA, am I the Asshole, yes.

For instance, there are two gentlemen I admire, look up to, and wish to emulate, both of who shown too bright and no longer consider me a friend. And, in both cases, it was because I was the Asshole.

A.K.

I’d known A.K. since college and always admired his intelligence, maturity, and thoughtful Canadian who I very much enjoyed talking to and doing things like discussing MST3K, watching RiffTrax together, and coding Python sprints. However, as my marriage started to dissolve, and after a brutal 2021 where I lost so much, continuing to hurt, I was finally starting to see the light as I was stressing over the planning for my half-century birthday bash, when all hell broke loose like a erupting volcano! The week before the festivities, the Supreme Court cast the perhaps worst ruling since Plessy v. Ferguson and Buck v. Bell when the corrupt court decided Dobbs v. Jackson. Of course, as an ERA warrior, I was dismayed, but as a new bachelor, I was apoplectic! Here I was, coming out of a marriage where I didn’t have any access to the one thing that monogamous relations restrict to the relations, I was terrified, incorrectly, I was about to be a bachelor entering a world where physical intimacy was impossible. Unfortunately, I said some things publicly which were reprehensible following the ruling and thus I Self-Sabotaged. A.K. blocked me on social networks and greenpdidn’t come to my party and since then he refuses to even hang out with me apart from allowing me to attend his Maryland Science Book Club. Yes, I was the 100% asshole.

D.B. and L.B.

Then there was time I was ready to start my Bachelorship and looking forward to spend more time with D.B. and L.B. Unfortunately, L.B., who I still care about deeply, got very sick from a nasty chronic condition, the same condition my late Aunt used to suffer from, so it became increasingly impossible to spend time with her. It got to the point that unless it was a very good day, she couldn’t even leave the home she shared with D.B.

L.B. and I were really good friends—we even talked about divorcing at the same time (unfortunately, it took me much longer to realize I needed to go). But, the thing is, it was her boyfriend D.B. who I really admired and wished to emulate. D.B. started a Dungeons & Dragons game before the pandemic and was kind enough to invite me to join. I was thrilled to be a part of the campaign and really enjoyed having him as dungeon master. But, L.B. got sick, and then the pandemic came, and we could no longer play D&D except over Zoom. I missed the personal interactions but I accepted the pragmatic limitations.

The thing is, D.B. and L.B. lived about an hour drive away, so whenever I was going to be close to where they were, I would send them a message asking if they were up to meeting. I didn’t think at the time that L.B. may not be up to meeting and was just sad at the repeated refusals. And so, I became an Asshole. I misinterpreted the refusals D.B. saying he and L.B. didn’t want to hang around with me, and said so, and after that I was blocked by D.B. and kicked out of his D&D game.

That loss caused me to truly hit an all-time low, confused about how I could have done so wrong, and finally forced myself to find a new therapist, since my old one was no longer covered by my insurance. In many ways, I think my mind reeling and making bad assumptions is very typical of an ADHD brain, and as that was the best explanation for why we were no longer friends, I posted a video trying to explain how I tend to self-sabotage, thinking I have friends I don’t deserve, and saying and doing things that fulfill my inner demon’s predictions where I will ultimately always say the wrong thing. Of course, me being an asshole, I didn’t realise the video should be interpreted as someone whining about being hurt by rejection when I only saw it as apologizing for overreacting to rejection. I tagged L.B. on social media and she interpreted it in the former way and began crying profusely while I was at work in the SCIF. It was so bad that my hero D.B. unblocked me just to tell me I did this to L.B. I was mortified and knew I could not say anything to defend myself, that anything I would say would make it worse, and I had to return to the SCIF. And, I had to be an asshole.

E.P.

After I started living on my own, I started dating a friend of mine I met through Bumble‘s BFF feature. E.P. and I got along great and when she suggested we become more than just friends, I ended my relationship at the time and started dating her. We had some awesome experiences together and I even cooked her Lobster on her birthday. But, as the summer drifted into autumn, we started to see less of one another. Then, last November, I had tickets to one of Taylor Tomlinson‘s last two shows on her Have It All tour. I got the ticket months earlier, constantly refreshing the app to get them as soon as they opened, while sitting in the parking lot of my work since I didn’t want to be in the SCIF when I made the purchase. As the day loomed neerer, I went out with a greedy woman who clearly wanted to just get the ticket out of me, and my friend L.S., who I really wanted to go with, was part of a press conference in New York, so she couldn’t make it. So, I ended up inviting E.P. I found out later L.S.’s conference was cancelled, but by then it was too late, as I’d already invited E.P.

E.P. and I had fun, and she got me a nice gift, making me want to return the favour. We weren’t intimate that time, though we had been before, mainly because I didn’t want her to think I was quid pro quo with her. I remember her mentioning she liked some special socks and wanted some special tea so I went and got some inadvertently crappy socks and really nice tea from Ireland. I tried and tried to meet up with her again, but things kept coming up. Finally, we set a date where we could meet for two hours. In the runup to our date, she texted me that her husband—yes, she was married, but she told me she was ENM and I’d have ended it otherwise—said she couldn’t go out. I, of course, being the asshole that I am, misinterpreted this and the husband saying she couldn’t go out that Thursday, and assumed we were still meeting that weekend. So I texted her a few times over the weekend, asking when she was going to get here, and accepting she might not make it. She never replied because of course she had told me she wasn’t going to make it. My overthinking mind misinterpret things and she blocked me. The asshole strikes again.

L.S.

Back in January, L.S., who I am quite attracted to romantically, invited me to a play to raise money for the homeless. I was excited to go and wanted to sit with her. I got their early and scanned the audience, but didn’t spot her. I looked and looks but L.S. was nowhere to be seen. So I found a seat in the third row, right and began to enjoy the performance of Annie. Midway through the third act, one of the actors escorted in a woman—L.S. I didn’t know at the time that he was one of the performers but I decided if L.S. had company, I wasn’t going to disturb her. So, at intermission, I ignored her. I intentionally kept to myself, reading the playbill. Like an asshole. I met her after the play and we did have a nice chat and she seemed to want to continue chatting but I had to get home before my Safety Score went up for driving after 22:00, raising my Insurance. And so I said goodnight, and left as the asshole I was.

AITA?

Actually, it’s complicated. In those situations, yes, I was an asshole. But am I an asshole? No! Most assuredly not. I admit I make mistakes because to see our own mistakes is the only way we can learn from them. So, I accept my poor behavior as being poor, but I’m the better man for it, for I learn from my self-sabotage and I do things differently. And that’s the point. Sometimes you can’t avoid being the asshole—but, unless you learn from it, you’re going to be the asshole again.

All this and more is covered in our episode on Self-Sabatoge.

ERA Town Hall, 13 May 2020

ERA Town Hall, 2020-05-13

Join the ERA Coalition on tonight for the first of a series of virtual ERA Town Halls, at 6:00 pm ET. Confirmed participants include: Actor/ERA Activist Alyssa Milano, Nevada Senator Pat Spearman, Linda Coberly, Chair, ERA Coalition Legal Task Force, Former Illinois State Representative Steve Andersson, Rosie Couture, Executive Director of Generation Ratify, Congresswoman Jackie Speier (D-CA), Maryland Senator Ben Cardin, Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski (by video), and our CEO and Co-President, Carol Jenkins will be moderating! 🌠The first 100 registrants will be provided a link the day of the event inviting them to join the Zoom Webinar and have the opportunity to interact directly with the panelists. You can register at the link in bio or https://bit.ly/3cgspvP we’ll also stream live right below thanks to the Facebook live stream! Spread the word and share this post!

As my readers know, the ERA is very important to me and has been since the time of growing under the ridiculous rhetoric of Phyllis Schlafly. Schlafly was famous making up Straw Man Arguments against the ERA. None of her arguments phased me. I lived in Europe with coed toilets, and the military is already considering requiring girls register for the Selective Service. What’s more, twenty-five states already have a state-wide Equal Rights Amendment of some form, and none of the fallacious arguments Schlafly claimed to come to pass ever manifested.

Since I was brought into the ERA fight in Virginia in 2017, soon after it was passed in Nevada, I have been going down to Richmond to fight for its passage, as well as lobbying my friends in Illinois to pass it there. Having been in the trenches, I was avoiding seeing the new Mrs. America series because I didn’t want to relive the horrors of Schlafly’s insanity. But I recently decided it was best to know thine enemy. So, I have been watching.

The truth is, much of the history of the ERA is actually centered in Illinois. Steve Andersson got it passed in Illinois to make Illinois Thirty-Seven, right behind Virginia’s Thirty-Eight. Illinois was also the home of Phyllis Schlafly, who was instrumental in preventing Illinois from passing it until 2018. What makes that passage all the more ironic though is that Schlafly, a conservative who’s ideas on international politics weren’t so absurd became such a champion of the No ERA movement. Yet it took a Republican, Rep. Andersson, to put things right in the Land of Lincoln, the first, great Republican.

But, what astounds me is, since Schlafly became a lawyer, was she not familiar with Bradwell v. The State? In that 1867 case, contemporaneous with the Fourteenth Amendment. On the docket, Myra Bradwell sued the state of Illinois, yes, Illinois, for the right, under the Fourteenth Amendment, to practice law in the state. The US Supreme Court denied her this right, more or less implying she was not a citizen and therefore not qualified for equal protection under the law.

While this case seems archaic, it should be pointed out that since that time a number of cases have refined the Supreme Court’s position on women to bring it more in line with our modern interpretation of women as equal citizens. However, we need only look at 2007’s Ledbetter v. Goodyear. In that case, the Supreme Court ruled that protection from pay discrimination against women was not protected by the Constitution and therefore Lilly Ledbetter was not entitled to sue for lost wages. Congress finally stepped in to pass a Statute to protect women, but women remain unprotected by the stronger Constitutional authority to this day. Which is to say, there are some weak protections for women but there are no strong, constitutional protections like there are for race.

The biggest issue is with Legal Constructionism. Under that doctrine, jurors try to intuit the intention of the author of a Constitutional element and apply it to the modern day. They eschew any more recent interpretation of the Constitution. Thus, one need only consider Bradwell v. The State to see the authors of the Fourteenth Amendment never intended to include women under it, and therefore, a Constructionist juror will likely derive precedent based on the 1867 ruling rather than any more modern ruling. The danger, therefore, is that most of the Supreme Court is made up of Constructionists, meaning we need the ERA now more than ever.

I hope you’re convinced now why we need the ERA, and please watch below to see the next steps to how we shall make it the Twenty-Eighth Amendment to our Constitution.

Town Hall

Posted by ERA Coalition on Wednesday, May 13, 2020

I hope you enjoyed the live stream, ladies and gentlemen and let’s work together to get her equal rights and make sure that equal means equal.

Empty Polling Station

We could be a Less Democratic Republic… or More

Empty Polling Station
© Samuel Corum/Getty Images

Many on the left fear the President will use any means necessary to stay in power. An article in Slate, Trump Can’t Cancel the Election. But States Could Do It for Him. is typical of these type of concerns.

The truth, though, is that the President has no power to cancel the election. That power rests purly in the hands of the Congress.

Congress, not the president, has the power to move Election Day. And even if Congress did postpone the vote, the Constitution would terminate Trump’s term on Jan. 20, 2021.

Stern, Mark Joseph. “Trump Can’t Cancel the Election. But States Could Do It for Him.” Slate 13 March 2020.

Further, having spend over a decade working for the U.S. Military, I can guarantee the loyalty of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are to the Republic, and not to any individual President. Should any President, Democrat or Republican, refuse to leave office were someone new duly appointed on, be it 20 January 2021, 20 January 2025, or any appropriate day of power transition in the future, then the U.S. Military would remove the obstinate President from office, with force, if necessary. Such a military Coup d’État would be unheard of in American history, but would doubtlessly just be a bump in the smooth transition of power as the Military is expected to immediately cede power to the duly elected next President. Indeed, if a President refuses to leave office, it behooves the winner of the most recent election to beseech the Joint Chiefs of Staff to aid in the removal of the incalcitrant, losing President, to make sure he or she leaves office and that the newly elected President is installed.

All that said, it seems to me insane to consider any President, including the current occupant of our highest office wouldn’t leave come 20 January upon losing the prior election by the Electoral College. And I hope my readers know I stand firmly on the side of Republican Democracy. It’s not a question of party for me, it’s a question of whoever wins the election should take office.

the Constitution does not require states to assign their electors on the basis of the statewide vote. It does not even require a statewide vote. Rather, it explains that each state “shall appoint” its electors “in such manner as the Legislature thereof may direct.” In other words, each state legislature gets to decide how electors are appointed—and, by extension, who gets their votes.

Stern, Mark Joseph. “Trump Can’t Cancel the Election. But States Could Do It for Him.” Slate 13 March 2020.

The rub comes if states exercise their option, under Article II, Section 1, Paragraph 2—as amended—state legislatures are allowed to appoint electors by any means they see fit. They can vote to select electors, as some states did originally, not having the infrastructure to hold an election. They can hold an election and assign electors proportionally, as they did in the early in the Republic. They can have winner-take-all (plurality) elections. They can have direct election of electors, as Alabama did in 1960. They can even allow two electors to be chosen by state-wide Plurality and the rest chosen by potentially Gerrymandered Congressional District plurality, such as in Maine and Nebraska. The Constitution says nothing about how Electors are selected, it only says states legislatures get to chose their own method.

[The President] himself could not cancel the entire presidential election. But he could ask these GOP-dominated legislatures to cancel their statewide presidential elections and assign their electors to him. It’s doubtful that we will face this situation in November. But imagine a worst-case scenario: The election is approaching, and the coronavirus remains rampant in our communities. States are unsure whether they have the personnel and resources to hold an election. Congress has failed to mandate no-excuse absentee balloting, and many states have declined to implement it. Or the postal service is so hard hit that it cannot reliably carry ballots to and from voters’ residences. It’s not difficult to envision [The President]’s allies in state legislatures assigning their states’ electoral votes to the president, insisting that these dire circumstances justify pulling a constitutional fire alarm.

Stern, Mark Joseph. “Trump Can’t Cancel the Election. But States Could Do It for Him.” Slate 13 March 2020.

What the article fails to mention is that each state’s legislature operates under different rules. In Maryland and Virginia, for instance, their General Assemblies have strict deadlines before 1 July to finish conducting all legislative business. The only way new legislation can be adopted is from a direct order of the Governor, meaning for a state to cancel its election after 1 July, it would have to do so with the consent of its Governor and its Legislature. And while there are a number of state legislatures in single-party hands through Gerrymandering, the Governors are elected by popular vote and thus is not prone to Gerrymandering.

So while SARS-CoV-2 may cause difficult for voting, it’s doubtful any major legislature is going to cancel the election in 2020 due to the virus. However, let’s entertain that possibility for a moment.

state legislatures can appoint electors—the human beings themselves—but cannot then require them to vote for a particular candidate, or punish them if they do not. It seems unlikely that the court will grant “faithless electors” the ability to buck state legislatures and cast rogue votes. 

Stern, Mark Joseph. “Trump Can’t Cancel the Election. But States Could Do It for Him.” Slate 13 March 2020.

Here is where the article puts a bit too much faith in faithless electors. The truth is, the way electors are chosen in all states in 2020 is through a party-line slate. What happens is the election happens (or the state legislature directs), the states Secretaries of State (where such office exists) then contact the party of the winning candidate who then provide the state with a slate of electors. If the Democrat wins, the state selects the slate of electors provided by the Democratic Party, if the Republican wins, the state selects the slate of electors provided by the Republican Party. It’s very unlikely parties would select from amongst their party faithful someone who was not loyal to the candidate. And sticking pipedream hopes that even if Faithless Electors are preserved—as the U.S. Supreme Court is likely to rule—it’s unlikely any elector will be voting against their party or candidate.

Regardless of any SCOTUS decision, Faithless Electors will continue to be rare. If a bunch of state legislatures do decide the cancel the election of 3 November, it’s unlikely that you can count of faithlessness to give you any surprise outcome. While that may be a fear in terms of legislatures reverting to the original party appointment of electors without election, which would be a tragedy to our Democratic Republic, there is another way that would, in fact, increase our Democratic Reublican ideals.

National Popular Vote Interstate Compact

The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact (NPVIC) is an agreement between the signatory state such that, if the combined electoral college count of signatory states is 270, then these states will tabulate their popular votes, and combine those popular votes with the votes of all the other states in our American Union, and, based on the winner nationally, the Secretaries of State then select the slate of electors provided by the party of the candidate who won the National Popular Vote. Effectively, the person with the most votes nationally will become the next President of the United States.

Just as legislatures could cancel elections, they can also join the NPVIC and ensure that the winner of the popular vote is the winner of the national election, making this nation a more Democratic Republic, not less.

This isn’t a partisan issue. In 2004, a Republican almost lost the Electoral College despite winning the Popular Vote. This isn’t an issue of the Popular Vote advantaging one party over the other. Unfortunately, 2016 has blinded people to that fact. In truth, when it’s known long before the election how most states will vote, it concentrates all the power in a number of battleground states which are so close one could literally flip a coin to determine their outcome. Such concentrated power is against the will of the Framers. It disadvantages both big and small states alike, both rural and urban states alike. It helps no-one unless you happen to live in a Battleground. It’s not advantaging any party, it’s just the coin flipped heads a number of times. It will flip tails. We don’t know when, but it will. It could indeed be as soon as 2020.

Article II, Section 1, Paragraph 2 is a double-edged sword. It allows legislatures to take the power from the people, and it also allows them to grant it to all Americans, leveling out the playing field so that, no matter where you live, your vote will count as much as any other American.

We should have One Person, One Vote where Every Vote is Equal. Ask your state governments to pass the NPVIC today.