This week, we’re talking about Age Gap relationships, with our guest Alex. Alex is my co-host Cat‘s long-term partner and we were fortunate enough to get his views with respect to their age-gap relationship, one quite similar to mine. Personally, I’m quite proud of my quarter century relationship with my former partner—who is nearly a decade-and-a-half my senior—and regret none of it, still considering her one of my closest friends.

Age gaps in relationships are nothing new. Often times the half-plus-seven rule is a useful benchmark for what constitutes a positive relationship. For instance, if you’re 22 and considering someone younger, 22 ÷ 2 + 7 = 18. On the other hand, if you’re looking for someone older, this would give (22 – 7) × 2 = 30. Of course, these are just rough numbers but as you get older, the gap widens, growing slower in the minimum and faster in the maximum, so that at 52 you have a minimum of 33 and a maximum of 90!

One other thing it’s worth mentioning is the general sexual curve between men and women has women peaking in their early 30s and men peaking in their late teens. Thus, an age gap of 30-year-old woman with 18-year-old man isn’t just good, it can be a great learning experience for him, and a great appetite satisfying experience for her. But, these are just average numbers, and everyone’s life experience is different so your mileage may vary.

But, for the record, I recognize it isn’t hard as a 20-something man to get a date. I know rejection after rejection after rejection making you desperate and easily making mistakes. I know this will wound you, as it has wounded me, making it harder for me to trust, and harder to notice the signs, positive or negative. Despite it, I am coping with therapy and I must recommend. My young men followers, please know it’s not hopeless, and there are young women out there. You just have to be patient and keep an opened mind like I did, because an older woman may be just your perfect match.

All that said, we’re not here to tell you if you’re outside that half-plus-seven range that you’re doing something wrong. Clearly, if you are with someone younger than 18, who is not yet the age of majority and therefore not clearly able to give consent, never mind enthusiastically, then please consider choosing someone else. But, if you’re both old enough to give consent and not under guardianship, then go knock yourself out! No shame in being in love, and as long as you love responsibility, you’re okay.