The Green Pill Podcast: Partner Shaming

It used to be you’d just gossip among friends and while some circles would try to be positive, others wanted to vent and venting would sometimes lead to realization that it’s time to get out and sista be helping. But most of the time, it was self-deprecating aggrandising of the other in your tight-knit circle that was only y’all and not for anyone else to see.

Then, SARS-CoV-2 came and changed everything and we all went online. No more could we see our girlfriends to discuss our private concerns. We went public and started the epidemic of Partner Shaming, especially on TikTok, and it has never been more rampant in this day and age. The tight-knit group has become the a window into our private lives through the 6-inch (20 cm) screen. We are becoming addicted to likes on social media and seeking digital clout to the point where what was once considered embarrassing is now considered the way to get the most views. And there’s nothing more embarrassing than insulting your supposed loved one by pointing out their flaws and using weaponized incompetence. Chasing likes is just not a healthy way of living.

Worst of all, what if your shamed partner actually finds out about your insulting videos? Videos where you have dozens if not hundreds of likes and comments telling you to leave the bastard. What happens then? Do you think your partner will wise up and be better, or will they feel hurt and even start considering the advice of your followers, and file for divorce. Will you end up having to make a mea culpa episode where you try to take it all back to save your marriage? Sista, don’t make that mistake because your followers won’t be switching side so easily and may still be wishing you to end that relationship. And woe be you if you listen to them.

Folks, just don’t partner shame unless you want to get out of a bad relationship. I know that for me, when I aired my dirty laundry it was not cool. It made people say I should end my relationship. But, in the end I did end it, but I did so not because I hated my ex, but because I love her like a dear friend, and I knew that being just friends was the best for us.

The Green Pill Podcast: Sprinkle Sprinkle, Drizzle Drizzle

Two weeks ago, we spoke about the problems with Grand Gestures, but we hinted there was more to this story and now we’re able to share with you the root cause of why some folks are expecting nothing less than some grand gesture on a first date.

This goes back to a recent movement you can find, especially, on TikTok. What it comes down to is, if you can’t give her that princess treatment on date 1, can’t be paying her rent and her bills and her car insurance as well as her daily meals, so long brother, she’ll find someone who will.

Of course, many men are aware of this movement and have come up with a large number of parodies. Again, you need look no farther than TikTok to find numerous bros talking about not settling for women who won’t pay their keep and shower them with gifts. For the most part, all these men are just making parody videos to counterpoint the women with their TikTok sprinkle sprinklings. And, let’s be honest, some women on TikTok are doing it ironically too because, on the surface, it is kind of funny!

But, the thing is, it does happen in real life. There are women’s magazines talking about how women deserve no less than the Taylor Swift treatment by her boo Travis Kelce. Ladies who expect those Grand Gestures to show you’re worthy. And, while they are perfectly entitled to want that, you’re perfectly entitled to not tolerate someone who acts entitled to it. It makes him no better than a Success Object.

And, if that term sounds familiar, well, it is, because it’s the flip side of treating women as nothing more than Sex Objects. My sista, I know you don’t want to be reduced to a one-dimensional sex-object. So please, let’s not flatten men to just a single Success Object status.

https://youtu.be/8vw5kHp5vos

How to make your own Surgical Mask

What follows is a series of TikTok videos my dear friend Lena Volkova demonstrated on her account. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find a way to remove the cranky, white border around the videos to keep it in line with the esthetique with the site, its theme, and the official category of this post as Cosplay. Nonetheless, I feel this is important so f’d up CSS be damned! We need to stop SARS-CoV-2! So, without further à Deux, here is her A/B Reusable Mask Tutorial: A Mask with a Pocket for Filtration Media Such as a Surgical or N95 Mask.!

Pretreat the Fabric

This is part of a larger effort to help those out in need.

If you’re planning on helping out with making surgical face masks, you need to pretreat and disinfect your fabrics prior to sewing.

To pretreat fabrics:
    • Prepare a cold water bath to soak your fabric.
        ■ 100% cotton is preferable for masks.
    • You can add two tablespoons of salt for dye runoff.
        ■ This is optional.
    • Add one cup of distilled, white vinegar to your cold water bath.
        ■ Vinegar works both as a color stabilizer and disinfectant.
    • Add your fabric to the bath and let saturate thoroughly.
    • Set your timer and let it soak for thirty minutes.
    • Rinse with cold water and let air dry.

@lena.volkova
@lena.volkova

Sewing your own surgical masks. Part 1 — pretreating fabric. This is part of a larger effort to help out those in need. ##coronavirus ##helpers

♬ Hold On – Moguai,Cheat Codes

Of course, first you need to find some fabric you have lying around. Perhaps some old, cotton clothes or linen sheets you could sacrifice? Either way, this pretreatment step is important as it helps keep the color from bleeding while in use and of course disinfects.

Patterning

The pattern for this A/B Mask style mask and instructions can be found on craftpassion.com.

    • Start by folding your fabric—you need to cut two of each fabric (inner and outer layer).
        ■ This is easy if the fabric is folded onto itself.
    • Using your pattern, measure out an additional one inch from the sides.
    • And three eighths around the rest of the mask.
    • Cut your fabric—this is your outer layer.
    • The inner layer is a half-inch shorter on the side than the outer layer.
        ■ Use your outer layer as a template to measure.
    • Cut out your inner layer fabric.
        ■ Set it aside.

@lena.volkova
@lena.volkova

Part 2 — A/B reusable mask turtorial: patterning. This mask has a pocket for filtration media such as a surgical or N95 mask ##coronavirus ##helper

♬ You – Petit Biscuit

For those wondering, the Face Mask Pattern can be found here.

Assembly, Part 1

    • Separate your fabrics, but keep the layers together as a pair.
    • Finish the raw edge that is curved.
        ■ This will face the inside pocket and needs to be secured.
    • Any overlocking or zigzag stitch will do.
        ■ You don’t need a serger.
    • With the right side facing inward, pin together and sew along the curved edge.
        ■ Use a quarter-inch seam allowance.
    • Do this for both inner and outer layers.
    • Open your fabric, then flatten the finished edges onto the fabric and sew the finished edges onto the fabric.
    • Align the inner and outer layers.
    • Fold the side edge of the inner layer onto itself twice—you’re rolling in the raw edge.
        ■ Pin in place.

@lena.volkova
@lena.volkova

Part 3 — A/B reusable mask turtorial: assembly. This mask has a pocket for filtration media such as a surgical or N95 mask ##coronavirus ##helper

♬ Classical – Piano Classics: Masters of Relaxing Solo Piano Music

I’ll be honest, I keep thinking about investing in a sewing machine. I know at Nova Labs, I could borrow one of their machines, but I’m nervous about doing seamwork in a public space. Plus, I need to find some decent patterns to so—like an A/B Surgical Mask!

Assembly, Part 2

    • Sew the roll into place along the inward edge of the roll.
    • With the right sides of the fabric facing together, align the layers and sew the top and bottom edges together.
    • Clip the curved edge of the fabric where both layers meet.
        ■ It should be approximately a quarter-inch inward.
    • Turn the mask inside out.
    • Roll the raw top and bottom edges inward onto itself to cover the raw edge.
        ■ Pin in place.
    • Do the same for the side edges.
        ■ There should be approximately a half-inch of fabric remaining on both sides.
    • Sew into place along the inner edge.

@lena.volkova
@lena.volkova

Part 4 — A/B reusable mask turtorial: assembly 2. This mask has a pocket for filtration media such as a surgical or N95 mask ##coronavirus ##helper

♬ Classical – Classical Chill Out

Remember to leave those sewing margins! You’re almost done.

Finishing

    • Fold the side flap inward, under the inner layer pocket.
    • Sew in place—both sides.
    • Insert your filter medium—cloth, a surgical mask, or an N95 mask.
    • Make sure the nose wire aligns with the nose part of the mask.
    • If using elastic, take a sixteen-inch length of one sixteenth elastic cord.
        ■ There’s a tolerance of plus or minus one to two inches for sizing.
    • Feed it through the channels you made in the sides, and secure it with a double knot.
        ■ Hide the channels.
    • To wear: Hold the mask in one hand and slip the bottom elastic over your head, followed by the top.
    • Adjust accordingly to endure a proper fit.
    • To wash: hot water, like scrubs.
        ■ Can be autoclaved.
        ■ Remove media as appropriate.
        ■ Sanitize elastic as appropriate.

@lena.volkova
@lena.volkova

Part 5– Reusable A/B mask tutorial: finishing. Mask has a pouch for removable filters like surgical masks or N95 masks. ##coronavirus ##helpers

♬ Piano Piano – Piano Solo – Charlie Glass Piano Man

I never cease to be amazed as the skills and achievements of my friend Lena. I am so astonished I can call her my friend, but then she’s one of the nicest, funniest people you’re likely to meet.

Thank you Lena. Hopefully when SARS-CoV-2 abates, we can cosplay together again!