Dropped in the Middle

Sometimes what you need from a critique is just a middle chapter. We can help you, but we do need some context. For instance, why is Character A trying to talk to Character B. It helps us understand their interaction better when A and B are chatting because of something that happened in a previous chapter.

This is why chapter summaries are critical. Chapter summaries give us a sense of what has come before, what your characters have already experienced, and what they expect to have happen to them in the current scenes.

What’s more, when you start trying to sell your manuscript, agents and publishers will expect not just the first few pages, but also one or two word sentences that describe the major plot points for each of your chapters. Writing chapter summaries will help you with this. It’s excellent practice.

Also, if your work is part of a larger book series, you don’t per se need to give us what happened in prior books—you should expect people will pick up book 4 without having read 1–3 on a whim and that book should be just as good an entry as the three prior books.

However, what your summaries must convey is any information from the previous books that were conveyed in previous chapters. For instance, say Character A learned necromancy in Book 2. In book 4, we don’t need to know about that until Chapter 3, but if we start on chapter 14, and 14 assumes you know about the necromancy, which was restated in Chapter 3, then the Chapter 3 Summary should include this information. No need to give away the entire plot of Book 2, but if necromancy is important, that should be in your summary.

I hope you will find these writing tips useful. Get writing my friends!

Ascension of the Cybermen

WARNING: SPOILERS!

The Cybermen are back and they mean business! So, who’s that orphan then?

Tonight’s episode was quite a wallop with non-stop danger interspersed with a tranquil orphan story in a quaintly Georgian or Edwardian, Northern Irish village where the only jobs seem to be farmer (appropriate when following CountryFile and tonight’s series [season for the Yanks] finale of Call the Midwife) and the Garda, the local constabulary.

I’ll get back to the farm boy constable in a moment but first this episode immediately follows The Haunting of Villa Diodati. The half-man, half-Cyberman is back, the Doctor having traced his position from the data left in the previous episode. There, they meet the last seven humans in that part of the Universe.

At this I want to stop. I mean, we got that at the Utopia, one of my all-time favourite Doctor Who serials! In that story, Captain Jack Harkness grabs the TARDIS as it’s taking off from Cardiff. They land on a planet trillions of years in the future, where the last of humanity is protected from total annihilation from lack of resources by a Professor Yana—You Are Not Alone—who turns out to be… the Master.

But I’ll return to that in a moment.

So, our intrepid time travellers, the Doctor, Yaz, Graham, and Ryan, arrive on the planet with the last humans and proceed to totally fail in their rescue attempt. When the Doctor tries to cover everyone so they can escape, Ryan is separated from Yaz and Graham, and he, the Doctor, and one of the human wunderkinds, who is able to hack cyber-ships and able to save the Doctor and Ryan.

Meanwhile, Graham, Yaz, and three more humans—three of the original seven having died—blow out their escape ships engines. But as luck would have it (can you say Deus Ex Machina) they’re in a cyber-war graveyard. They are able to pilot the ship into a Cyberman Troop ship and instead of doing the intelligent thing, knowing that the ship is full of Cybermen, of piloting it back to the planet with the TARDIS, they go and take it to the gateway to try and bring their problems for her to solve.

Screaming Cybermen? What’s that about. It’s mentioned once and then never again? But again, I digress.

Anyway, so the Doctor, Ryan, and the Wonderkind make it to the gateway and meet the last guardian of the gateway. He shows them the portal and the Doctor is aghast to see her ruined home Gallifrey beyond.

At the same time, Yaz, Graham, and a about a million Cybermen have arrived.

To add insult to injury—I told you I’d get back to him—The Master is back, stepping though the portal to Gallifrey.

Meanwhile, remember that orphan Garda? Well, it turns out, he has the same power as Captain Jack Harkness: he cannot die. He’s shot and falls off a cliff. He dies for a moment, and then he gasps, and recovers. On his body is no sign of his injury.

And does a Garda have to have his mind erased when he retires? Are they a cyber-nursery?

So many questions! How does the orphan relate to Captain Jack? How did Jack know about the lone Cyberman? How are the orphan and the half-Cyberman connected? Why was the half-Cyberman rejected for upgrade? Who is the Doctor from The Fugitive of Jadoon? Where is Omega? What happened to Gallifrey? And what was the Master doing there?

Next week, the series finale, Timeless Children!

V3 SuperCharging, Kind of…

After Loudoun County Writers Group, I decided to visit the new Tesla V3 SuperChargers that just opened up in the Broadlands, outside of Ashburn, VA, two days ago.

The stations are across from a Harris Teeter.

Harris Teeter, Broadlands
This Harris Teeter is the home to one of the first V3 Tesla SuperChargers. © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

I pulled in and all the stalls were opened. Of course, you can see the price of Petrol, but #CO2Fre rides this fuel, free for life!

Broadlands Charging with Gas
8 Stalls at Broadlands, all V3 SuperChargers. Since #CO2Fre has free, unlimited supercharging, what do I care the price of Petrol? © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

I pulled in straight, and plugged right in.

Broadlands Charging
The Broadmands Chargers just opened up two days ago; no-one was there so I had the the V3 SuperChargers all to #CO2Fre. © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

The nice thing about the Broadlands SuperChargers, besides being 250kW max, is that it has dedicated, Handicapped parking.

Broadlands Charging for Handicapped
The Broadlands SuperCharger even has parking for Teslas needing Handicapped Parking! © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

I decided to check how far #CO2Fre was charging. Just 20kW, but then, I was almost full when I got there. I’ll have to try again on Wednesday when I drive to work, then Bowie, and back for the Bowie Bevy of Brainy Books when my Charge Level will be much, much lower.

20kW at Broadlands
In theory, these units can go more than 10 times that fast, but since I was almost full, 20kW was the best #CO2Fre could do. © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

I wanted to see if I could get a view of #CO2Fre and the Harris Teeter so I stepped behind this car and took this shot.

Broadlands Charging From Behind
This is the back of the Charging Station at Broadlands. You can see Harris Teeter in the background. © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

And what do I find, sitting behind one of the trees, but one of my good friend Margie Hunter‘s Tchotchke to promote the Northern Virginia Tesla Owners Group. How Flatulaless!

Margie Scavenger Hunt Broadlands
Margie Hunter is a very creative friend who has hidden a number of Tesla Tchotchkes at area SuperChargers with a QR code for the Northern Virginia Tesla Owners Group. It says Flatulaless! © 2020, Jeffrey C. Jacobs

Thank you to Lanny Hartmann at Plug-In Sites on twitter for bringing this new station to my attention! Check out his amazing site for all kinds of Electric Car news.

Have an eclectic, electric Day my friends!

Deux Bière, S’il vous plait…

André winced. “He’s no Prime Minister of mine!”

What if you could change history? What if you could put right what you felt in your heart was wrong?

André may have lost his bid for a Federal Riding in Québec, but when he’s given the opportunity to get his Francophone province to break with Canada, he’s unable to resist liquoring up his friend and stealing his boss’s time machine. But one piece of advice André never got: be careful what you wish for…

Giles is just a humble custodian. Just an ordinary Québecois with nothing to show for it but a well-paying job, a pension, … and his boss with a Time Machine. When his best mate André tricks him into visiting Canada in the 1860s, it’s not his hero Lincoln Giles meets, but the man who would become Canada’s first Prime Minister, John A. McDonald. Can Giles keep André out of trouble. Can he keep his politician friend from effecting the future?

And isn’t it strange how similar André and John A are…

Read ‘Let’s Kill John A. OR John Wilkes Booth Must Die’ in The Witness Paradox, published by Tanhouser Press and edited by Martin Wilsey. Now available on Amazon, Books-A-Million, Barnes & Nobel, Powell’s Books. Alas, not available at Chapters, despite this story takes place in Canadian.

Who is the TimeHorse

I joined Toastmasters last year to both practice my public speaking and to lear to be a better performer when acting. I enjoyed answering Table Topics and being challenged to come up with a spontaneous speech—at least when I knew what the topic was—but when it came to my own Ice Breaker speech, I kept putting it off.

The thing is, I don’t like talking about myself. I love writing fiction and talking about Science but when it comes to my personal life, I get embarrassed and ashamed. Much of my personal story is really not for public consumption and is rather confounded with emotional difficulty and lack of self-worth. I do hope through Toastmasters, to overcome that, just as I have found Cosplay to help with my self-image, but that journey isn’t the subject of this post.

Instead, I want to talk about my Ice Breaker.

I decided to cover my digital self. As you can see from the side menu in the upper-right corner of my site, I have a lot of social networks accounts! Indeed, the currently 26 or so I have listed there are only a fraction of the dozen or so twitter accounts I have, the half-dozen Facebook pages I run, the three instagram accounts I control, the dozens of meetups I’m in with my two accounts, one professional, one personal. Or even the fact that I have a separate blog for Reston Writers and one for the Affordable Electric Car NOW!

The long and short of it is, I wanted to talk all about these accounts, right back to the Original George Harrison and Tomorrow People home page and MINITEL in France and 1200 Baud Modems. I wanted to covey my diverse interests in so many subjects, and I planned a 6–7 minute speech to do it.

Of course, seasoned ToastMasters will know that your Ice Breaker is actually 4–6 minutes, not 5–7, so my speech ran long. And I did tend to lose my place as I spoke, having had no time to memorize it word for word. Nonetheless, I did my best and delivered my speech and got some great advice from my friends and colleagues at the Loudoun ToastMasters, club 5154. My mentor Jonathan gave me some amazing and helpful advice and I am so thankful to all of my fellow Toastmasters!

What do you have to say?

176,749 Electric Miles

I have been writing about electric cars for almost 11 years and been driving them since 2 November 2011. In that time, I’ve had 4 Electric Vehicles, a Red, 2012 Nissan LEAF, #CO2Fre3, a Red, 2013 Nissan LEAF, #CO2Fre2, and a White, 2015 Nissan LEAF, #CO2Fre1.

Now, of course, I drive a 2018 Tesla Model #P㆔D, the current #CO2Fre and with nearly 300 miles range, I can go much farther. With #CO2Fre3, I 42,282 miles in 27 months, and with #CO2Fre2 I drove 50,030 miles in 30 months. I then drove #CO2Fre1 43,326 miles in 25 months.

#CO2Fre
#CO2Fre chilling on a sunny day

The current #CO2Fre I’ve had for 20 months and as of this afternoon I have 41,111 miles on her. This puts my grand total at a over 175,000 lifetime electric miles and one of the highest electric mile accumulation in the Mid-Atlantic, and even then, all those miles driven by myself, not shared among any two or more electric car driving family.

We won’t be so much comparing miles as we try to crack 4 million electric miles total at the Electric Vehicle Association of Greater Washington DC meeting tonight. I won’t update my account on the Wild Apricot servers until we meet as I will be putting a lot more miles on to get to the meeting.

Hope to see you there at the Potomac Library in Maryland, at 19:00!

Double Rainbow over Portree

Double Rainbow over Portree
A Double Rainbow in Portree, Skye, in Scotland. The outer Rainbow can barley be seen but is just visible as a faint fuchsia streak that extends from the trunk of the tree on the right. Photo © 2019 TimeHorse, LLC

Every since I was a child, I dreamed of spending my mild summers in Scotland and my mild summers in New Zealand. Who needs winter?! Although I’ve yet to visit the lovely submerged island continent that is New Zealand, I have been to Scotland a few times and it never ceases to impress me. I’m so in love with the lands north of Hadrian’s wall I could happily spend months there just enjoying the sights.

As I got older, I became a bit of a polyglot, thirsting for new languages to speak. So when I read that you could secure Scottish residency by becoming fluent in Scots, I decided that was a language most assuredly on my bucket list.

The great thing about Scotland, and Edinburgh specifically, is that it has a thriving Doctor Who fanbase that meets monthly at an awesome bistro right off the Royal Mile, the Tron.

The Tron, Edinburgh
The Tron is a sports bar in Edinburgh where the Monthly Edinburgh Who show meets. Photograph © TimeHorse, LLC

I’m not sure when I’ll be back in Edinburgh or Scotland, but if you’re going, won’t you take me with you!

Mapmaker: The Gerrymandering Game

A few months ago, I attended an event with my good friend Delegate Mark Levine where he hosted an event where we played a game called Mapmaker: The Gerrymandering Game, available on KickStarter.

The game was rather fun and I played for the Conservative side just because often times when I am debating the NPVIC I debate it from the Conservative perspective to better explain it to folks who lean that way.

The reason we were playing was to introduce the issues with Virginia HJ71, which allows a party line vote to veto the committee maps for districts and send it to the Virginia Supreme Court with no constitutional protections against Gerrymandering. Mark’s bills to give us a better options were merged into Delegate Cia Price‘s bills HB1256 and HB1255, which set up a citizen’s committee and also provide Gerrymandering protections. Both bills will be before the Virginia Senate Privileges and Elections Committee tomorrow. I would have liked to attend that meeting, especially as HB177 is on the Docket as well, which is the NPVIC bill, but it’s unlikely HB177 will be heard tomorrow and I have some work things I need to take care of.

In any case, I very much enjoy the game I played with Mark moderating and am considering buying the game for myself.

Gerrymandering Game
Delegate Mark Levine coaches me on playing Mapmaker: The Gerrymandering Game

Won’t you play with me?

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

WARNING: SPOILERS!

The Doctor lands in 1816 on the coast of Lake Geneva and makes the welcome aquaitence of Lord Byron, Mary Godwin [Shelley] and Dr. Polidori—author of The Vampyre.

The story starts out with a lovely play on a ghost story with the surprising appearance of the Doctor, Ryan, Yasmin, and Graham at the door in the middle of a torrential thunderstorm. The gothic horror is increased by the arrival of mysterious apparitions, deepening the mystery. And then, the question begs, where is Percy Shelley, Mary’s husband to be and the muse to her magnum opus, the story of The Modern Prometheus?

The story continues into a wonderful MC Escher like play on architectural configuration that would have made the Logopolins proud. The Doctor and companions deftly solve the confoundment of the ever changing rooms by shutting their eyes and walking through walls. But when they’re all together, quite convenient to the plot, that’s when the mysterious lady of the lake appears and turns out to be a half-built Cyberman!

On the run, we finally find Percy Shelley, sulking in the basement, a mysterious air about him. Here, the plot runs into high gear as we build to Captain Jack Harkness‘s prophecy about the lone Cybermen. It tuns out, Percy has taken upon himself a Quicksilver containing the entire database of Cybermen defeats (shaded of Genesis of the Daleks). After a threat to history by Ryan, the Doctor instead takes the cyber-computer from Percy and into herself only to face down the lone Cyberman. When the Cyberman threatens the Earth and history, though, the Doctor must capitulate and gives the cyber-computer to the lone Cyberman, fulfilling the most disastrous prophecy.

Overall, I think my main nit is that the final act relied too much on deus ex machina elements to bring the story to its logical conclusion. Also, I didn’t like Ryan so easily suggesting the Doctor kill Percy Shelley. And the Doctor could have used the knowledge from the cyber-computer to do more than simply capitulate when the world of the past was threatened, thus threatening the world of the future. Would a fallen Earth before the beginning of the modern era have been an even greater boon to the Cybermen? With no humans to destroy Voga or defeat Mondas, wouldn’t the Cybermen have fared even better?

I guess the Doctor made the right decision after all. But, what will the consequences be?

Next week, Ascension of the Cybermen!

The Neighbor was crazy, the question was which one

Last month a attended the Fairfax Filmmakers meetup, run by Justin Snyder. Justin has been running this meetup for a number of years and last year he and one of the members, Michael, worked on a cute script, Bottled, involving a genie and an artist getting everything he ever wished for, or so he thought. I audition for a part and table read for the lead but in the end I wasn’t selected. I did try to remain attached to the project and be available for it, but in the end the whole thing came apart and the project was abandoned.

Fast forward to 2020, and Justin, just coming off of his latest personal film project, conducts a new meeting of the group and has invited us to join his latest project, a suspense film. He wanted to do it as an anthology with four short films, each with a unique director, where he would be the anchor.

Personally, I’ve never had a desire to direct, though it’s something I would eventually like to get into, but I did have the kernel of an idea of a story so I teamed up with a woman who wanted to direct and we came up with a 20 minute film all based on the Ring doorbell. I wanted to do something with a black widow and a bit of Hitchcock‘s Rear Window. The director and I bounced ideas off off one another and then I wrote a 21 page script, You Rang, which the director liked.

Script in hand, last week, I submitted it to two of my writing groups, The Saturday Morning Review, and The Hourlings (my own writing group, Reston Writers, doesn’t allow Screenplay reviews). I submitted the first two acts to the first group, as the final act wasn’t ready in time, and then submitted the whole screenplay to The Hourlings. Both gave great feedback—about 75% of it useful—but enough to make the script a whole lot better, and inspire me to come up with a better ending. Finally, with my director’s approval, we submitted it to Justin.

The Suspense manuscript was supposed to be due today. Justin emailed me shortly after submitting You Rang to tell me he would be sending me notes, and I’m waiting for those notes and to start work on this awesome project!

Break a leg, everyone!