The basic idea of the book is to define each of us in terms of 3 broad and sometimes overlapping categories:
Secure Attachment
Anxious Attachment
Avoidant Attachment
The idea here is a secure attachment type is confident in their relationship and trusting of their partner, having faith that their love is reciprocated. Meanwhile, an anxious attachment type is constantly afraid that they are about to lose their partner, and need regular reassurances that their partner still loves them. Finally, the avoidant attachment type is someone who brushes off signs of affection directed toward them. They generally take their partners for granted and are aloof to their partners needs. However, when their partner is seeming to have had the last straw of neglect thrown at them, the avoidant partner often suddenly changes and becomes very conciliatory, trying to keep the relationship going.
Now, attachment types are not absolute. Someone who’s avoidant may still have some traits which are secure, or even anxious. Likewise, an anxious attachment may have a kernel of secure attachment in them. And, more importantly, ones attachment type can change over time.
I like to use the personal example of my first (and only thus far) marriage. When I entered into that relationship at 25, I was very anxious, having spent the previous decade of my life asking out girls and getting repeatedly rejected. Meanwhile, I know can see my ex-wife has some traits of an avoidant attachment type. Sadly, this dynamic of Anxious with Avoidant is all too common, and oftentimes an Anxious individual will be drawn to the Avoidant partner because the Avoidant partner is recapitulating past trauma of rejection and neglect which caused the anxiousness in the first place.
Now, that said, I’m a lot older than 25 now and it took years of therapy and self-reflection for me to realize I was someone special in my own unique way—as are all of you!—and it was through that realization I was able to break the curse of Anxious Attachment and become more Secure in my attachment style. I’m able to set boundaries and have self-worth to know that I do deserve to be happy and deserve to be loved. I can have faith in myself, and as a more secure attachment type I can help someone who’s anxious to see value within themselves, and be strong enough to notice avoidant behavior and not put up with it, demanding dialog to resolve the constant yoyoing of love and neglect.
Finally, although I say in the video that the avoidant / anxious trap is one you should consider exiting and breaking up, please understand I’m saying this would be best for me. It is possible for an anxious and avoidant partner to become more secure, it just takes more time. But if you’re willing to put in the effort, more power to you! What was true for me, it may not be true for you!
Anyway, thank you for joining me this week as I discuss Attachment Types!
Welcome everyone to a new episode of the Green Pill Secret, produced right here in Reston, VA. This week, we’re discussing a most series topic; a topic so fraught I can’t even call it what it is on YouTube for fear of demonetization. Mind you, the channel as it stands is about 9,990 subscribers away from ever making a single penny but I digress. (Though, if I was able to make money I could afford a guest host, so until then you’re just going to have to suffer my ugly face for the time being.
Anyway, first and foremost, if you need help, please exit this sight immediately and visit the Crisis Hotline or call 988. I am here to listen and give you a place to vent or just be a kind voice but I’m no expert and the folks at that number and url are. Seek help, please!
Now, as far as things to look forward too, I admit I love my Doctor Who and Ncuti Gatwa.And I can’t get enough of those James Webb renderings.And I’m always happy to sing George HarrisonKaraoke, even if I can’t even make it to the second round of a contest. And as for this podcast, sure, I’m no Joe Rogan, but then I never was on News Radio either. Point being, I may not be the best at anything, but I just need to try and be good at some things, and not worry about how I compare to others. And you should see too that you’re unique in all your different skills and while not the master of any, you’re well equipped to be quite skilled at many! And isn’t that worth living a striving for?
Welcome everyone to a new episode of the Green Pill Secret, produced right here in Reston, VA. This week we’re talking about Sapiosexuality. Simply put, today is all about it being okay to be smart! Maybe your jam is science books like The Science Book Club, which I run and am making the 2025–2026 book poll as I write this. Or, maybe you’d like to check out the Maryland Science Book Club? Or maybe the Eco Book Club.
The goal of someone seeking a Sapiosexual partner is to find someone who is smart, well-rounded, and is able to talk about a variety of topics. And that’s why I consider myself a Sapiosexual. How about you?
Thank you for watching and reading as we completed our first year of podcasts. We started with friends, but in the end, we had to go it alone. Thank you for sticking with me! Here’s to another successful year!
This week is all about Energy. Don’t let a boring date get you down. Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay. But often, the energy you share is the energy you receive. If you’re a dead fish, how can you expect your companion to be anything different.
Of course, the type of energy you give also matters. What we’re talking about here is Positive Energy. Positive energy is about engagement and excitement, while Negative Energy is about self-centered, entitled attitude. And, like in Physics, negative energy is abhorrent and shouldn’t exist. But it does in a social context, and if you see your partner treating the waitstaff poorly or complaining about how everyone is trying to do them wrong, or how great their portfolio is, then it’s best to move on.
Personally, I’ve had dates with low energy and high energy. You can generally tell the difference between such interactions with practice and the best practice is to go out there and ask out someone, or to be available and accept an invitation. You never know what will happen until you try and while it may be hard to see the signs right away, with practice, you’ll be able to tell if your partner has positive energy or not real soon! And feel free to learn from my mistakes.
Okay now, if you want to be bored, here’s the full Physics derivation I was trying to convey in the opening of the video. Most people should just skip to the end.
Anyway, here, here’s the full derivation of Energy. First, we form an integral of Force (F) over distance (s) to get Work (W), or Energy expended.
Next, we need do define what Force is. For now, we’ll just say that the Newtonian definition is modified by Special Relativity in terms of mass not being a constant but for now let’s just say mass depends on velocity (mᵥ) and with acceleration (a), we get the Force (F).
Now, let’s consider the definition of acceleration (a), which is the derivative of velocity (v) with respect to time (t).
Finally, as the video cuts off, I was going to explain how velocity (v) is the derivative of distance (s) with respect to time (t).
Returning to the definition of mᵥ, we really should define Force (F) in terms of the change, or derivative, of Momentum (p) with respect to time time (t).
Here, we define momentum (p) in terms of the Lorentz Transform γ(v), the rest mass (m₀), and the velocity (v).
Finally, we define the Lorentz Transform as follows.
Anyway, here’s all you need to know about that Positive Emotional Energy!
A couple weeks ago, I attended the funeral of my dear friend and occasional writing partner Donna Royston. I knew Donna from the Hourlings writing group, which meets weekly, Sunday mornings online and at the Barnes & Noble in Ashburn. It was a lovely service in the Church in Winchester, VA. Needless to say, the service inspired me, and has brought me to love Jesus.
I feel that accepting Jesus, as my mother did in her final years (I was raised Jewish), is the path the Lord has set me upon and I embrace it as what I need right now in my life. That said, I will still run the science book club, still not say under God during the Pledge of Allegiance because I see my beliefs as personal and support the separation of Church and State, as spelled out in the First Amendment to the US Constitution.
Of course, I was fortunate to have a very dear and very close and dear friend, Krystyna, tell me all about her congregation, The Antioch Church. Because she’s in Woodbridge, I’ve started attending the services of Pastor Ray, who has his own Podcast. I thoroughly enjoyed Pastor Ray’s service and feel I’ve made friends with my fellow parishioners and may even start carpooling on Sundays to attend his services.
The only issue is Church is at the same time as The Hourlings. But I have faith that when the Hourlings is without topic, Pastor Ray’s sermons will fill my heart. May whatever faith you believe fill yours.
Folks, as I’ve from time to time mentioned, I’m currently unemployed and as such, although I’m using the time to improve my literary portfolio, with hopefully at least 2 books to be released this year, I’m also considering earning some cash as the money runs out. For instance, since I run a science book club, am a mathematician, and a software engineer with decades of experience, I wanted to offer my skills to anyone needing a tutor. I am cleared and trusted by the government and I want to assure all of you that I am someone worthy of trust and respect and have unique skills, and knowledge and am an excellent presenter, having been a toastmaster. I’m also looking to be a teacher’s aid, or lunch monitor, or a substitute teacher, should these opportunities become available. I’m quite flexible in terms of remuneration as well. I have even lowered my asking salary for software engineering positions by 20%, and I’m happy to provide discounts for those who are financially struggling.
I’m happy to help those in need, so feel free to pick my brain and let me share some of my years of knowledge with someone who’s struggling.
This week I was inspired to write an episode about superficiality. Specifically, I realized the channel lost a subscriber and one of my episodes garnered a dislike. The thing is, I don’t at this time have that many subscribers and honestly, yes, I’d like more, but I don’t want to do it the quick and easy way. No, I want to create substance and meaning in my content and I’m not looking for the quick like. Indeed, I don’t want praise for praise sake and I’d much rather have Constructive Criticism which will make this channel better.
After all, someone recently suggested to me that my single-person episodes were a bit boring as they didn’t have two camera editing. That’s why I’m trying the new style of single-person production, even though it took much longer.
Truth be known, though, the original recording of this episode was corrupted and ended up being a 10 minute episode stretched to 6 hours. Needless to say, I had to re-record the episode which is what I give you here!
The thing about life is, sometimes it gives you lemons and you’re allergic to lemonade. For instance, although the date on this post is the right date, I am only able to write it 48 hours later, which allows me to tell you not just about the frightful topic but also why my telling you about it has been so hard.
First and foremost as viewers of the podcast will know, my dear friend and co-host Cat will be going under the knife to hopefully resolve their neck issues this Thursday and I for one am concerned for my friend and their overall recovery. However, I am confident that they will at some point be returning to the show but most of all I am hopeful for my friend’s swift recovery.
That said, I wasn’t able to secure an alternate co-host for my Romance Scams discussion. I had a wonderful discussion with one of my neighbors who talked a lot about fake male profiles, typically in their twenties, and in uniform, running the typical romance scam. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to schedule a time when she could appear so I did this one, and likely the next one and the last December episode solo. But, I do have something special planned for the Winter Solstice!
Meanwhile, on the job front, my next employment seems to be further delayed and I might not be working until after Christmas. As usual, I refuse to look at as a setback but rather I see it as a wonderful Christmas gift as I head into 2025.
I’ve also been flying recently but my instruction has been forestalled because my fundamentals are still quite rusty. So, while I’m still unemployed, I’m focusing my day-to-day work in studying the PHAK and AFH. I found a great channel on YouTube by Philip J Murphy. The recitations are a little dry, but I find the contents quite educational. I personally think my instructor is a little annoyed with me being so rusty, so I hope the next time I’m able to schedule a flight, I’m able to show great progress. Hopefully, I’ll finish before my FAA license expires on 31 December. I have submitted an extension to the FAA, but I don’t expect the new license to be issued before mid February.
But, the big thing I am most thankful for is that I’ve reconnected with my brother. For the last year, my brother has eschewed my contact, and ghosted me because he went off his meds. His Breton, now ex-wife reached out when he was at his darkest and fortunately we were all able to convince him to get the help he needed, since he filed a medical directive to prevent anyone from helping him save himself.
Now, he has the right meds, is stable with his work, and able to live in his now empty house. He reached out just after Thanksgiving and we made hummus together thanks to his home-made recipe. It was delicious. After we ate and caught up, he made me a custom batch with extra garlic. Yum!
Suffice it to say, I’ve been busy. But, I was able to record an episode in time, right before my semi-annual toastmasters training. I missed the last day of the Reston Farmers’ Market Market and my weekly workout but I had the episode recorded and submitted to YouTube with an hour to spare, at 07:30 on Wednesday. Finally, I clicked to schedule it, and set the schedule for 08:30, which is the time we normally would have released this episode. Only, I got the day wrong as it was supposed to be 7 December, not 8 December! D’oh!
So, I submitted the episode, went to the Toastmasters training, met a beautiful friend from the last Toastmasters social event I was at, hurt my arm, and then rushed home.
Unfortunately, there was no time to check on the episode because my poorly-fitting Airpods fell in my iced tea while I was smiling and eating during my Maryland Science Book Club meeting last Wednesday.
When I went to the apple store to complain, they said just buy a new set of headphones. I tried on a different set but let me just say apple earphones are the worst designed earphones ever built! Sure, the ATMOS sound is cool, but what good is an earphone if it can’t even stay in your ear when you have the temerity to even smile! I mean, isn’t apple just making their 1984 Commercial a reality? Apple is making you constantly frown while you listen to their airpods while a real, professional earphone maker, like Shure, is in skimpy shorts and tossing something and Tim Cook droning on and on and preventing you from even smiling. Touché, apple. I see you!
The point being, my new earphones were scheduled for arrival on Saturday and I spend the time after the training working with the concierge for the missing package to no avail. Since my Denon AV Receiver broke after a power cut just before Thanksgiving and I knew I could replace it with a Black Friday discount. The unit arrived and I lugged it all the way up the 16 flights of stairs because I need to be fitter if I want to attract women. However, I wanted to test the audio out of the old receiver to confirm it was the receiver and not the speakers. Since the Shure earphones are optionally wired, I was able to confirm the receiver was dead and I bought a label maker to perform the rewiring.
I will say the climbing of 16 flight, or 40 flight if I move to the apartment across the street, even if they made the most awesome flat a three-bedroom well outside of my budget. I still need to figure out if I want West-only or South-East exposure and my dilly-dallying is my way of saying I’m willing to forsake either while I consider my job situation.
Okay, I seem to have lost my train of thought again. Maybe I’ll talk more about how I have two red flags against me because I’m bald and not six-foot tall. Meaning, women already have a lot of good reasons to reject me and why I’m mainly attracting scammers and lower quality women. I’ll leave it at that, as I want to talk about Hypergamy in a different episode.
Anyway, I was unable to get the earphones after the training, and then I had a Tesla Light Show event with the Maryland Tesla owners. We got 190 cars for our part of the display in the Christmas lightshow. I have video from both up close and on a hill, though on the hill the audio is somewhat messed up because people were talking near the camera.
After that, I had a special neighbor party organized by an absolutely gorgeous women who is a good friend but is very much not in any way, shape, or from attracted to me and is utterly disgusted by the prospect. Did I mention Hypergamy?
Thus, I wasn’t able to confirm the video uploaded all day Saturday, and had some things to take care of on Sunday so I wasn’t able to see until last night that it was posted and it wasn’t until now that I could write this long updating post to you. If you read this far, I thank you. Now, go enjoy the episode where I talk all about how I, personally, was scammed.
This week, Cat and I return with a special 2-part series on Seeing the Doctor.. We both discuss our various doctor visits and experiences and of course we have to talk about the elephant in the room. Some doctors are just absent any form of bedside manner, especially when it comes to women patients and dismissing symptoms, especially pain. Nothing exemplifies this more than the famous Golden Girls scene where Dorothy Zbornak (played by the late, great, and then there’s Bea Arthur) when she confronts a dismissive doctor who ignores her clear set of symptoms for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Meanwhile, I wanted to give an update with respect to my Doctor Whorewatch. I’m currently in the Jon Pertwee and thoroughly enjoyed watching The Dæmons (I have a bit of a crush on that Olive Hawthorn) and the ghostly apparitions from Day of the Daleks (which has the wrong Dalek voices—sorry Nick, shows light beams on weapons which are literally described as sonic, and I miss the camp visuals!) around Halloween. I enjoyed seeing the Royal Navy (I and the BBC thank you! But Doctor, are you telling me the Silurians evolved in the Age of Mammals? Is that much better than the Age of Molluscs?) base where The Sea Devils was shot during Veterans’ Day, and on Monday, in keeping with the 61st Anniversary today, I’ll begin me rewatch of The Three Doctors (the last live appearance of William Hartnell as the Doctor and of course it’s great to see Patrick Troughton return since his last story last Summer) ! I could not have asked for a better synergy between stories and real life!
Anyway, enough about the Doctor, on to this week’s episode!
Folks, as the leader of the Science Book Club, I’m all about knowing how things work like how clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats (i.e. CRISPR) works using the CAS 9 component of the various CRISPR methodologies used by microbes. That is why I was excited to get the Pfizer / BioNTech SARS-CoV-2 vaccine, since it’s a direct mRNA (messenger RiboNucleic Acid) vaccine using techniques coming out of the CRISPR biotech revolution.
Indeed, anyone who saw me on social media back in 2021 could see me being a whiny little b*tch when it came to my desperation to get a jab. Fortunately, I did get my shot, and my second shot, and at the time of this posting, I’ll be on my 6th dose of the COVID vaccine and have my latest flu shot and as discussed in the episode, I did indeed get my Shingles first shot, with the second shot to come in about a month, whereby I plan to also get Hepatitis B and maybe Gardasil vaccinations, or Monkeypox—if they don’t let me take the later. Knowing the 250 year science behind these amazing inventions makes me all the more eager to teach my immune system about all the dangerous pathogens I can.
After all, vaccinations, or virulations as they were known in the 18th Century, were familiar to President Thomas Jefferson in his day, and it’s an honor to use the same historic technology updated for today that the framers of this Democracy used. We’ve come a long way since then, using smaller and then microscopic samples of the pathogen, all the way down to mRNA. We don’t store the samples in Mercury anymore either. And we now know that the data linking vaccines to Autism is just, pure bunk!
While I’m elated that Smallpox is all but eliminated from humanity, I hate that in the 21st century, we’re now losing ground to Polio. Most people don’t that to pinpoint and capture Osama Bin Laden, agents posed as Polio Healthcare workers to get into his compound and find him. Having done so, and assaulted the compound, the Pakistani people grew to distrust the vaccination campaign workers and started refusing the legitimate Polio vaccinations. Eventually, Polio again began to spread and is once again on the loose. That was the faustian bargain we played. Eradicate Polio from the world, or eliminate the man behind 9/11.
So folks, trust me, get your shot and thank the virulations and the vaccinationists for finding a drug-free, one-to-two dose cure to so many nasty diseases. Stay healthy my friends, and thank you for watching!
