Meanwhile, the TradWife just wants to stay home, take care of the household, raise your children, and make your domestic life as good as she can. She’ll be there to cook and clean for you, and keep the house running and the appointments for you and the children, and even run the budget to make sure the income never sinks below spending. Or, at least, she’ll try do do a subset of that, as much as she’s capable, and with her husbands limited help. And she still deserves her night out with the girls, to sing Karaoke or what not, maybe where I’m even hosting an event.
The point is, she’s trying to make the home run well, and the kids are safe, and he’s out earning a living for his family.
The thing is, many women would love to be a TradWife. And, what’s more, many men would love to marry a TradWife. It just seems so many of these man and women aren’t connecting, despite sites like Christian Mingle and JDate. Now, I know I don’t currently have the readership or the viewership to be my own matchmaking site, but feel free to comment below if you’re looking for a TradWife, or looking to be a TradWife. Who knows, maybe your special someone will read it and reply!
Welcome everyone to a new episode of the Green Pill Secret, produced right here in Reston, VA. This week we’re talking about Sapiosexuality. Simply put, today is all about it being okay to be smart! Maybe your jam is science books like The Science Book Club, which I run and am making the 2025–2026 book poll as I write this. Or, maybe you’d like to check out the Maryland Science Book Club? Or maybe the Eco Book Club.
The goal of someone seeking a Sapiosexual partner is to find someone who is smart, well-rounded, and is able to talk about a variety of topics. And that’s why I consider myself a Sapiosexual. How about you?
Thank you for watching and reading as we completed our first year of podcasts. We started with friends, but in the end, we had to go it alone. Thank you for sticking with me! Here’s to another successful year!
No matter how you pronounce it, Hegemony, or more specifically Hegemonic Masculinity, is the idea that the man and the woman have specific gendered roles when it comes to dating. In and of itself, that seems rather innocuous, but problems occur when taken to extremes. One example of an extreme is a guy telling his girlfriend she can’t have any male friends. Don’t do that!
Another things is when you say she can’t use Instagram to share photos of herself. Don’t do that! While I have my concerns about Chasing Likes, it’s not your business what she chooses to share. Of course, you can be concerned if she’s sharing private messages with another bloke which are emotionally inappropriate or too sexy for simple friendship, then I do have every right to be at least concerned.
And of course, you need to give her the freedom to see and spend time with who she wants. Have a little trust and don’t spy using whatever tools exist for that (I won’t repeat them here for safety’s sake). Don’t do that!
On the other hand, what about money? One interesting statistic is that because more girls go to college than boys, the average salary for a single woman in her twenties is actually a fraction of a percent higher than the boys in her age group. Nonetheless, a man should be ready to pay for the first, second, third, and a number of their initial dates. It’s on him to select the venue, and he shouldn’t select a venue he can’t afford to show a date a good time. Of course, she might want to Go Dutch. While she has every right to do so on a first date, this is in some ways insulting to the man, who expected he would pay. It implies the woman didn’t have a nice time and won’t be interested in a second date. Of course, she might still be, but he might not even bother to ask because he’s already feeling slighted. Try not to do that.
Now, paying for a meal or two, or a movie, or the amusement park, that’s all well and good. But, the problems occur when you take that too the extreme. A woman could, for instance, be into Findom. While she has every right to see men as a wallet she has total control over—and, let’s face it, some men do like this—for most men, this is going way too far with the Hegemonic relationship. Don’t do that!
And of course, there’s the extreme, money for intimacy. It’s typically illegal to solicit for sex almost everywhere (unless you go Dutch). But, it does exist and even a quid pro quo of a monetary gift in return to intimate access can be considered against the law when there’s actual physical contact. Or, you may see personal ads, asking for roses. Or, you might be charging your Tesla, late at night, and be approached by a woman asking for money. Be strong, and keep your money in your wallet guys. Don’t do that!
In the end, all it comes down to is being a gentleman, and accepting your responsibility to make her feel safe and secure with you, and avoid any extremes, just don’t do that!
This week is all about Energy. Don’t let a boring date get you down. Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay. But often, the energy you share is the energy you receive. If you’re a dead fish, how can you expect your companion to be anything different.
Of course, the type of energy you give also matters. What we’re talking about here is Positive Energy. Positive energy is about engagement and excitement, while Negative Energy is about self-centered, entitled attitude. And, like in Physics, negative energy is abhorrent and shouldn’t exist. But it does in a social context, and if you see your partner treating the waitstaff poorly or complaining about how everyone is trying to do them wrong, or how great their portfolio is, then it’s best to move on.
Personally, I’ve had dates with low energy and high energy. You can generally tell the difference between such interactions with practice and the best practice is to go out there and ask out someone, or to be available and accept an invitation. You never know what will happen until you try and while it may be hard to see the signs right away, with practice, you’ll be able to tell if your partner has positive energy or not real soon! And feel free to learn from my mistakes.
Okay now, if you want to be bored, here’s the full Physics derivation I was trying to convey in the opening of the video. Most people should just skip to the end.
Anyway, here, here’s the full derivation of Energy. First, we form an integral of Force (F) over distance (s) to get Work (W), or Energy expended.
Next, we need do define what Force is. For now, we’ll just say that the Newtonian definition is modified by Special Relativity in terms of mass not being a constant but for now let’s just say mass depends on velocity (mᵥ) and with acceleration (a), we get the Force (F).
Now, let’s consider the definition of acceleration (a), which is the derivative of velocity (v) with respect to time (t).
Finally, as the video cuts off, I was going to explain how velocity (v) is the derivative of distance (s) with respect to time (t).
Returning to the definition of mᵥ, we really should define Force (F) in terms of the change, or derivative, of Momentum (p) with respect to time time (t).
Here, we define momentum (p) in terms of the Lorentz Transform γ(v), the rest mass (m₀), and the velocity (v).
Finally, we define the Lorentz Transform as follows.
Anyway, here’s all you need to know about that Positive Emotional Energy!
Welcome to another episode if the Green Pill Secret. Last week, I wanted to tell you all about the problem with Creep Culture, this week, it’s all about the Pick Me people.
What is a Pick Me person? Simply put, a Pick Me Person, for instance, a Pick Me Girl, is a woman who talks about mens and boys issues. For this, she’s called a Pick Me Girl because she’s constantly defending men and boys. The implication is, she’s only doing it to get men’s attention and potentially date them. Nothing could be further from the truth!
By that same token, some may say I’m a Pick Me Guy (or Pick Me Boy) because I recognize women’s issues and support choosing the bear. Trust me, I don’t cosplay or fight for equal rights to meet women. I do it because I enjoy it or because it’s the right thing! If I happen to meet a potential romantic interest, great. And if I don’t, it doesn’t matter because that’s not what I came for anyway!
This week, as we begin our winter season, I wanted to bring back my good friend Shea, who you may remember from our Coping with Addiction Episode. Of course they are a great guest and I was very eager to have them back on the show!
As you’ll find out in this episode, Shea has Muscular Dystrophy, which causes their muscles to be very weakened and thus it’s hard for them to accomplish common tasks an non-disabled person may take for granted. For instance, they’re confined to a wheelchair, though, to be honest, it’s a totally cool form of motion and carries all they need, and can take them to most places, including a show at Wolf Trap we enjoyed together earlier this year.
In this episode, however, we don’t talk about Star Wars: A New Hope. Instead, we’re here to talk about Shea’s novel, This is Not a Love Scene, all about a disabled teenager as she navigated he social and romantic life in a non-disabled world. I, personally, was very excited when this book came out, with a descent publishing company, having reviewed various chapters in The Hourlings writing group.
Will she find love? Well, we won’t spoil it for you in this episode but I definitely recommend checking out the book—when you’re through watching, of course!
The thing about life is, sometimes it gives you lemons and you’re allergic to lemonade. For instance, although the date on this post is the right date, I am only able to write it 48 hours later, which allows me to tell you not just about the frightful topic but also why my telling you about it has been so hard.
First and foremost as viewers of the podcast will know, my dear friend and co-host Cat will be going under the knife to hopefully resolve their neck issues this Thursday and I for one am concerned for my friend and their overall recovery. However, I am confident that they will at some point be returning to the show but most of all I am hopeful for my friend’s swift recovery.
That said, I wasn’t able to secure an alternate co-host for my Romance Scams discussion. I had a wonderful discussion with one of my neighbors who talked a lot about fake male profiles, typically in their twenties, and in uniform, running the typical romance scam. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to schedule a time when she could appear so I did this one, and likely the next one and the last December episode solo. But, I do have something special planned for the Winter Solstice!
Meanwhile, on the job front, my next employment seems to be further delayed and I might not be working until after Christmas. As usual, I refuse to look at as a setback but rather I see it as a wonderful Christmas gift as I head into 2025.
I’ve also been flying recently but my instruction has been forestalled because my fundamentals are still quite rusty. So, while I’m still unemployed, I’m focusing my day-to-day work in studying the PHAK and AFH. I found a great channel on YouTube by Philip J Murphy. The recitations are a little dry, but I find the contents quite educational. I personally think my instructor is a little annoyed with me being so rusty, so I hope the next time I’m able to schedule a flight, I’m able to show great progress. Hopefully, I’ll finish before my FAA license expires on 31 December. I have submitted an extension to the FAA, but I don’t expect the new license to be issued before mid February.
But, the big thing I am most thankful for is that I’ve reconnected with my brother. For the last year, my brother has eschewed my contact, and ghosted me because he went off his meds. His Breton, now ex-wife reached out when he was at his darkest and fortunately we were all able to convince him to get the help he needed, since he filed a medical directive to prevent anyone from helping him save himself.
Now, he has the right meds, is stable with his work, and able to live in his now empty house. He reached out just after Thanksgiving and we made hummus together thanks to his home-made recipe. It was delicious. After we ate and caught up, he made me a custom batch with extra garlic. Yum!
Suffice it to say, I’ve been busy. But, I was able to record an episode in time, right before my semi-annual toastmasters training. I missed the last day of the Reston Farmers’ Market Market and my weekly workout but I had the episode recorded and submitted to YouTube with an hour to spare, at 07:30 on Wednesday. Finally, I clicked to schedule it, and set the schedule for 08:30, which is the time we normally would have released this episode. Only, I got the day wrong as it was supposed to be 7 December, not 8 December! D’oh!
So, I submitted the episode, went to the Toastmasters training, met a beautiful friend from the last Toastmasters social event I was at, hurt my arm, and then rushed home.
Unfortunately, there was no time to check on the episode because my poorly-fitting Airpods fell in my iced tea while I was smiling and eating during my Maryland Science Book Club meeting last Wednesday.
When I went to the apple store to complain, they said just buy a new set of headphones. I tried on a different set but let me just say apple earphones are the worst designed earphones ever built! Sure, the ATMOS sound is cool, but what good is an earphone if it can’t even stay in your ear when you have the temerity to even smile! I mean, isn’t apple just making their 1984 Commercial a reality? Apple is making you constantly frown while you listen to their airpods while a real, professional earphone maker, like Shure, is in skimpy shorts and tossing something and Tim Cook droning on and on and preventing you from even smiling. Touché, apple. I see you!
The point being, my new earphones were scheduled for arrival on Saturday and I spend the time after the training working with the concierge for the missing package to no avail. Since my Denon AV Receiver broke after a power cut just before Thanksgiving and I knew I could replace it with a Black Friday discount. The unit arrived and I lugged it all the way up the 16 flights of stairs because I need to be fitter if I want to attract women. However, I wanted to test the audio out of the old receiver to confirm it was the receiver and not the speakers. Since the Shure earphones are optionally wired, I was able to confirm the receiver was dead and I bought a label maker to perform the rewiring.
I will say the climbing of 16 flight, or 40 flight if I move to the apartment across the street, even if they made the most awesome flat a three-bedroom well outside of my budget. I still need to figure out if I want West-only or South-East exposure and my dilly-dallying is my way of saying I’m willing to forsake either while I consider my job situation.
Okay, I seem to have lost my train of thought again. Maybe I’ll talk more about how I have two red flags against me because I’m bald and not six-foot tall. Meaning, women already have a lot of good reasons to reject me and why I’m mainly attracting scammers and lower quality women. I’ll leave it at that, as I want to talk about Hypergamy in a different episode.
Anyway, I was unable to get the earphones after the training, and then I had a Tesla Light Show event with the Maryland Tesla owners. We got 190 cars for our part of the display in the Christmas lightshow. I have video from both up close and on a hill, though on the hill the audio is somewhat messed up because people were talking near the camera.
After that, I had a special neighbor party organized by an absolutely gorgeous women who is a good friend but is very much not in any way, shape, or from attracted to me and is utterly disgusted by the prospect. Did I mention Hypergamy?
Thus, I wasn’t able to confirm the video uploaded all day Saturday, and had some things to take care of on Sunday so I wasn’t able to see until last night that it was posted and it wasn’t until now that I could write this long updating post to you. If you read this far, I thank you. Now, go enjoy the episode where I talk all about how I, personally, was scammed.
As some of you may know, I have been going to therapy on-and-off for a number of years. The main reason for this because, like many young men of today, I left college with nothing, and couldn’t get a date to save my life. When I finally did find someone who would date me, I clung on as if my life depended on it. In hindsight I know this was unhealthy, but I also recognize as a neglected child and baby, according to my parents, that it’s no wonder I have abandonment issues and historically had a Anxious Attachment style. Of course, naturally I was most attracted to rejecting women who recapitulated my childhood neglect and finally married someone with an Avoidant Attachment style. Therapy has helped me get through this, and helped me stop hating myself and helped me become someone who is more secure in his attachment.
Now, I’m hoping to do into more depth on Attachment Styles in a subsequent episode, as well as therapy, but this week, my wonderful friend Cat returns for the first of 6 topics of discussion. This week, it’s all about that Inner Critic. That inner critic who makes me think no woman will ever find me attractive because of all my recent and historical romantic failures. That inner critic who makes me think I’m not a real cosplayer because I don’t make my own outfits. That inner critic who says I’m an awful composer. That inner critic who says I’m never going to be a pilot after two and a half decades of trying. That inner critic who tells me I can’t deliver a good speech. Celle critique de la interior que dit que je ne parle pas français, oder Deutsch, o italiano, или русский, 日本語または 中文. That inner critic who says I’m a failed Physicist because McGill didn’t even give me credit for the 3 years I studied the discipline. That inner critic who reminds me I’m a software engineer without a job. And that goddamn inner critic that reminds me I’m not a successful author because I’ve only had a few of my short stories published and I’ll never be as successful as Stephen King, or even Nev Fountain or Martin Wilsey.
Now, should you always ignore your inner critic because it’s shit-talking you? By all means, no! The critic is there to keep you from embarrassment. But sometimes, when you’re constantly rejected romantically, and having trouble finding the time to finish the first draft of your novel, and realizing how long it’s been and you still don’t have a pilot’s licence, or your sewing machine sits idle, don’t sweat it. Because I may not be the best, but have been on some successful dates, I do cosplay, I do write music, I am licensed to fly, I ran a great Toastmasters last Thursday, I practice my linguistic skills when I travel, I run a science book club and have read over 100 science books, I’m a very skilled coder with sufficient clearances which make me expect I will have a new job soon, and I have my own Amazon page if you want to read some of my work. And I fight for the Equal Rights Amendment, for a National Popular Vote, and Electric Car access, especially for National Drive Electric Week!
And this channel, well, I hope it will grow too. I don’t mind only 10 subscribers oas of this writing. I’m happy that two of my shorts got over 150 views. So don’t let that Innere Critic Rule you, making you fall into self-sabotaging behaviors. Control your Inner Critic, and just don’t let it control you!
Two weeks ago, we spoke about the problems with Grand Gestures, but we hinted there was more to this story and now we’re able to share with you the root cause of why some folks are expecting nothing less than some grand gesture on a first date.
This goes back to a recent movement you can find, especially, on TikTok. What it comes down to is, if you can’t give her that princess treatment on date 1, can’t be paying her rent and her bills and her car insurance as well as her daily meals, so long brother, she’ll find someone who will.
Of course, many men are aware of this movement and have come up with a large number of parodies. Again, you need look no farther than TikTok to find numerous bros talking about not settling for women who won’t pay their keep and shower them with gifts. For the most part, all these men are just making parody videos to counterpoint the women with their TikTok sprinkle sprinklings. And, let’s be honest, some women on TikTok are doing it ironically too because, on the surface, it is kind of funny!
But, the thing is, it does happen in real life. There are women’s magazines talking about how women deserve no less than the Taylor Swift treatment by her boo Travis Kelce. Ladies who expect those Grand Gestures to show you’re worthy. And, while they are perfectly entitled to want that, you’re perfectly entitled to not tolerate someone who acts entitled to it. It makes him no better than a Success Object.
And, if that term sounds familiar, well, it is, because it’s the flip side of treating women as nothing more than Sex Objects. My sista, I know you don’t want to be reduced to a one-dimensional sex-object. So please, let’s not flatten men to just a single Success Object status.
If you’re thinking that person you fancy will finally notice you by going to their window and serenading your live like Cyrano de Bergerac, don’t be surprised if you spend the night in the local jail.
This week we’re talking about Grand Gestures. If you learned all your did about romance from the movies of the 1980s by John Hughes, you’ve been led astray. Your perceptions of what constitutes a proper romance should not come from the sped-up narrative of the film narrative. Granted, The Princess Bride constitutes one of the most romantic descriptions of love and dedication, but the epic journeys of Westley and Buttercup work in literature because there are many trials and tribulations which both protagonists go through and the audience is aching for their reunion, with the process being the real narrative. But, life isn’t a movie!
In the real world, people have lives and aren’t being kidnapped by Dread Pirates Robert and getting advice from Miracle Max. In the real world, it takes time to build a relationship. You need to begin slowly; you can’t run before you can walk. It goes back to our advice on Icebreakers. Nothing works better than a simple “Hello”.
Of course, we’re not saying a trip to Paris six-months into a long-term relationship is unwarranted. By all means, if you have and established relationship, please keep having grand adventures together. But, if you’re expecting to be taking on an all-expense paid trip to Austin , TX for the last Solar Eclipse in the United States (outside of the Alaskan North) for the next two decades as a first date, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. Not saying there won’t be guys who will shell out for that, but who knows what he would be expecting in return, and why risk that. Best for everyone to slow things down, and except that good things come to those who wait.
And definitely don’t go making those grand gestures expecting anything but a legal smackdown. You want them to notice you, just walk up and introduce yourself!
